#how can it look so different in every image

[littleslaywrites]

trinkets and letters | spencer reid x reader

summary: spencer always brings you trinkets whenever he comes back from a case.

word count: 1.1k

cw: pure fluff, gift giving as a love language, letters from spencer

Everyone who knew you knew you loved trinkets. There was a space carved out on a shelf above your desk that had them all out for display. It was a collection that had started before you could remember. The first was a figure of a stork, something your parents had brought home when you were born. At every moment, you grabbed a memento, and now it had accumulated into the menagerie nestled between your bookshelves.

Spencer had noticed this habit on his first visit to your apartment. He’d looked through them during a conversation, inspecting them all. Occasionally, he’d pause his rambling to ask about how you acquired one that intrigued him. You smiled at how delicate he was, his hands gently grasping each one and running a finger along the details.

The shelf had given Spencer an idea. He hated leaving you for cases, missing you from the moment he stepped on the jet until he walked into your apartment upon his return. You were understanding, but he knew you missed him, too. One day, he was walking through the lobby of a hotel he was staying at and passed by a small gift shop. Reminded of your display, he walked in to find a miniature Statue of Liberty. He bought it, smiling at the image of it sitting next to the rest of your trinkets.

When he got back from the case, he knocked on your door, buzzing with excitement. He held the gift in his palm, fingers wrapped around it to hide it from view.

The second he opened the door, he gave you a quick kiss, blurting, “I got you something.”

“You got me something?” you asked, ignoring his lack of greeting. 

“So you know how I was in New York?”

“Yes.”

“And you know how you have your shelf?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I found your newest addition,” he said as he held out his palm. You took the little statue, holding it up with a smile that matched Spencer’s. 

Bringing it to your study, the two of you determined the perfect place for it. Spencer couldn’t stop glancing over at you, seeing the glow of your grin as you held the gift. 

From then on, it became a tradition. You loved the gifts, as they were a tangible reminder that he thought of you, even when you weren’t with him. It gave you a fuzzy feeling to think about, imagining him going out of his way to find you a memento. Spencer loved the giving, overjoyed every time he saw your giddy smile. 

One night, you heard the distinct knock on your door, and jumped off the couch. You opened the door to see Spencer’s smiling face, a comfort after a long week. Wrapping you up in his arms, he disrupts your usual routine, not giving you a gift right away.

“I did something a little different for this case”, he said, keeping an arm behind his back.

He showed you a small box, a bow tied around it. 

“They’re letters,” he said, “for when you need me but I can’t be there.”

Undoing the tie, you open it, revealing various envelopes labeled with messages. 

Open Me When You’re Sad, Open Me When You Don’t Feel Pretty, Open Me When You’re Mad at Me, Open Me When You Can’t Sleep, Open Me When You Need to Remember How Much I Love You

You beam as you look through them, and Spencer can’t help but fall in love with you all over again.

Thoughts swarm in your head, overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness. “You’re too sweet, Spence,” is all you can say through your bliss.

He replies with a kiss, carrying you to the couch so you can recount the details of your week. 

You cherished the letters, finding comfort when he wasn’t beside you. One case was far too long for your liking. Spencer had been gone for eight days now, and you couldn’t help but worry whenever he took more than ten minutes to respond to your texts. Of course, you knew he was busy, but you still worried. 

Reaching for your bedside drawer, you pull out the box of letters. You retrieve one that reads “Open Me When I’ve Been Gone for Too Long”, tearing open the envelope. 

Y/n, 

I know you must hate these long cases as much as I do. I miss you with every step I take, looking forward to when I take the step through the threshold of your apartment and into your arms. The truth is, it never gets easier. I hope you know you’re never forgotten, no matter how long I’ve been away. 

It’s not as good as the real thing, but I always use my imagination on the nights I’m not beside you in bed. I close my eyes and think of you, the way your lips twitch at the edges as you dream, the way your head rests against my chest, the warmth that lulls me to sleep. 

Do the same thing for me when you’re done reading this letter. Close your eyes, and picture me beside you, wherever you are. Even if I’m not physically there, I leave a piece of my heart with you every time I leave.

The hardest part of my job is hearing the sad tinge in your voice when I tell you I’ll be away. It breaks my heart every time, but I can’t help but think of how grateful I am to have someone I miss so much. I promise I’ll make it up to you when you get back. I’ll knock on your door, and you’ll open it to see me with another trinket in my hands. Just hold out for that moment, no matter how far it seems. 

For now, you can hold this letter close, and pretend that it’s me. Every time your heart aches, know I’m feeling the same. 

You’re my home. No matter how long it takes, I’ll always make my way back to you. 

Love, 

Spencer

You hold the letter near to your heart and remember his words. The distance can’t keep you apart, and you know Spencer is carrying you with him in his thoughts and his heart. You almost wish you had his memory, envious that he can recall any of your moments together with perfect accuracy. No matter, you had his words, which were more than enough for you. You close your eyes, eagerly awaiting the arrival of him and the newest trinket he’d carry home.

a/n: lowkey i love this concept and what do u guys think of a part two? also I know I haven't been updating as regularly since the semester just started but I'll work on being more regular as well as going thru requests :)

[urmum-lovesme]

Angel Baby - Rafe Cameron x Kook!reader P14

pairing: Best Friend!Rafe Cameron x Kook!Best-Friend!reader

summary: Rafe and Reader have known each other since kindergarten, always side by side, the king and princess of Figure 8. So why now does he start feeling different towards her, when all she's ever been is his best friend?

a/n: Soooooo.. this took me agessss and it's probably cause I just don't know how to write happy Y/n BAHAHAHA . Anyways, thanks for bearing with me ya'll but Rafe and Y/n will soon (hopefully) get a change for some peace cause god knows they deserve it. This chpt lowkey made me really emotional when I wrote it cause they just deserve each other so bad. (p.s: see if you can spot the Isle of Dogs reference... (it literally isn’t even but whatever I’ll just stfu)

warnings: mentions of trauma/ptsd, mentions of s/a, court proceedings, Cooper (he deserves a TW), mentions of first period, absent parents, passed mother, swimming in the night (with very little clothes), admittance to not being okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The steady stream of light filtered in through Y/n’s bedroom window, the steady rhythm of a heartbeat beneath her ear pulls her out from her sleepy haze, the weight of someone's arm draped across her causes her eyes to shoot open. Her breath catches, a faint tremor in her chest as the panic rises- uninvited.

Who is that…

Her body tenses slightly. Suddenly hyper aware of every muscle wanting to pull away, to escape the closeness, to shut it out before it becomes too much. The shadows of memories she’d rather not revisit tug at her mind, but then- the familiar scent, the mix of cologne and something undeniably comforting, presses closer to her. Fingers, even in sleep, curl against her skin. Not possessive, protective. 

Rafe

Her heart slows, the frantic pace softening just a little. The panic doesn’t disappear entirely, but it fades, ever so slightly. She exhales shakily, letting her body relax a fraction, just for a moment, allowing herself to sink into the rare comfort of it. But even as her body relaxes, something stirs within her- his touch, his nearness, feels like both refuge and torture all at once. The intensity of it is too much and she’s not sure what she’s supposed to do with it, what she wants to do with it. She feels his breath shift, a faint murmur escaping his lips. His arm tightens instinctively around her, pulling her closer, and for a brief moment, she allows herself to linger in the warmth of it. Y/n looks down to his chest, rising and falling softly along with his breaths.

Just go back to sleep

But as her eyes closed she couldn't stop the image reappearing before her eyes, the dark, terrifying memory of the boy's frame leering over hers and- her eyes shot open.

Get off of me

She swallows harshly as she slowly begins to slip away, careful not to disturb him, not wanting to break the silence that envelops them. Her chest tightens as she slides out from under his arm, her back pressing against the headboard as she sits up on the bed, the sheets beneath her cool. The weight of his closeness still lingering in her bones, but the space between them, even if only temporary, feels like a breath she desperately needed.

Rafe stirs slightly, mumbling something incomprehensible in his sleep, but it’s enough to stop her in her tracks. For just a second, she sits still, caught between wanting to stay and wanting to run, unsure if he even notices her absence yet. Before she can completely slip away, she hears him shift in the bed, his body moving, his face pressed into the pillow as he groggily turns towards her. His voice, still thick with sleep, breaks the silence.

“You okay?”

The question catches her off guard. She wasn’t expecting him to notice, wasn’t expecting him to stir. She stops mid-motion, her breath catching in her throat, unsure if she should answer or if she even knows the answer herself. She remains still, caught in the delicate balance of wanting to stay and the overwhelming urge to run.

Why have you moved away…?

She glances at him, his face still soft with sleep, his features relaxed, hair tousled, unaware of the pull between them, but that question- the softness in his voice- makes her chest tighten. She quickly looks away, her fingers twisting the sheets in her lap, the silence stretching. She nods, almost too quickly. 

“Yeah... I’m fine.”

Her voice is soft, fragile even, and she knows the words don’t carry the weight of what she’s truly feeling. Her gaze darts to the window, anywhere but at him, as if avoiding the connection that still lingers in the space between them. The silence between them hangs thick, but it’s a different kind of weight now- not uncomfortable, just heavy with unspoken thoughts. Y/n sits stiffly on the bed, her fingers twisting the fabric of the sheets, her gaze glued to her lap and the way the material crumples under her fingers. She doesn’t look at him, doesn’t even know what to say. The panic from earlier is still there, lingering at the edges of her mind, but she’s trying to breathe through it.

Rafe, still half-lying in bed, watches her closely, his brow furrowing slightly as he senses the change in her. After a beat, he sighs and shifts his position, leaning back slightly with a small smile.

“So…” 

Say something man

He says, his voice light, a small chuckle following the words, desperately trying to ease the tension. Y/n finally glances up at him, but only briefly, before quickly looking away again. His playful tone feels like a lifeline, something to pull her out of her head.

“I’m actually plotting a dramatic exit right now” 

She teases, but there’s a hint of something softer beneath her words. Rafe raises his eyebrows, the smile on his lips growing wider. 

“Well you’ve got the ‘don’t talk to me’ energy right now if I’m being honest.”

She can’t help it- a small laugh escapes her, and the tension in her chest eases just a little. He might be making fun of her, but it’s a light, and she can’t help but return.

“No, I don’t”

She says, the words sarcastic, though there’s a trace of something deeper in her voice that she doesn’t want to admit.

Rafe shifts, leaning back against the headboard now, his arms resting loosely at his sides as he watches her. There’s something unreadable in his expression—not judging, not pressing, just waiting.

Yn exhales, staring at her hands for a moment before finally speaking up.

“I’m sorry about last night,” she murmurs, the words quiet, hesitant. “I don’t know why I did that.”

Rafe shakes his head almost immediately, about to respond, but she keeps going, voice faltering slightly.

“I’m not a violent person, I—I don’t know why I did that,” 

I know you’re not

She says, the weight of it sitting heavy in her chest. It’s not just regret; it’s shame, the kind that knots up inside her and refuses to let go. All she could think of was the image of the plates, smashing harshly against the ground, the glasses cracking against the walls.

Does he think I’m some psycho bitch…?

Rafe’s expression shifts as he notices the distant look on the girls face, something softer settling in his eyes. He leans forward slightly, lips parting as he starts to speak, but before he can, the sharp vibration of her phone cuts through the air. They both glance over at the bedside table. Y/n swallows, looking at the screen.

Hale.

She feels Rafe’s eyes on her as she reaches for it, but she doesn’t look at him. Instead, she hesitates only a second before pressing the answer button, bringing the phone to her ear.

“Hello?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The car’s low hum was a fragile constant sound against the storm inside her mind. Y/N leaned her head against the cool glass of the window, watching the street lights blur into streaks of gold. Her parents sat silently in the front seats, their subdued conversation earlier having faded into the quiet tension of the drive. Her chest tightened as she thought of the courtroom, the way Cooper’s words had struck her like a whip.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Miss Y/L/N,” his lawyer had said, rising slowly to his feet as if he had all the time in the world, “my client would like to make a statement.”  

Hale had objected immediately, but the judge allowed it. Y/N had frozen in her seat, her pulse hammering as Cooper stood, his hands neatly folded in front of him, as if he wasn’t the villain in the room.  

“I just want to say…” His voice had been cool, almost detached, yet there was a cruel glint in his eyes as he looked straight at her.

 “I don’t hold anything against her. I know she’s struggling—probably got confused. I mean, let’s be real, she’s not the first girl to regret a bad decision she’s made the morning after.”  

Y/N had felt the air drain from the room. Her body had gone rigid, her nails digging into her palms as a murmur rippled through the courtroom.  

“Objection!” Hale had shot to her feet, her voice sharp as a blade, “Your Honour, this is blatant character assassination and irrelevant to the case!”  

The judge’s gavel had struck down, silencing the room, but the damage was done.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cooper’s words had left their mark, and even now, hours later, they replayed in her head like a broken record. The car slowed, pulling into her driveway. Y/N blinked, pulled from the memory as her father turned to her from the driver's seat.  

“We need to head back and deal with the legal papers,” her mum said gently, her eyes soft with concern. “You’ll be okay, right?”  

Y/N nodded quickly, though her heart felt heavier than ever. “Yeah. I’m fine.”  

Her father gave her hand a squeeze before she climbed out of the car, the night air biting against her skin. She stood at the foot of the driveway, watching as the taillights disappeared down the street, leaving her in silence. The house loomed before her, a familiar refuge now shadowed by the weight of everything she carried. She unlocked the door and stepped inside, flicking on the light. It wasn’t until she leaned back against the door, exhaling deeply, that she realised how tightly she’d been holding herself together.  

Yn stood in the kitchen, the soft chill of the floor seeping through the fluffy socks she’d slipped on her feet. The evening had fallen quiet, save for the gentle hum of the fridge and the sound of water heating for her cup of tea. It had been a long day- too long, really- and now, in the soft glow of the kitchen light, she finally allowed herself a moment to breathe.

Raspberry or chamomile?

The heat of the mug in her hands would be a welcome comfort as she prepared to text the guys, filling them in on what had happened with the case. They needed to know, of course- especially Rafe- but it could wait just a few minutes. She dropped the tea bag into her cup and watched it sink, the scent of the tea beginning to rise.

Then, the sudden sound of the doorbell cut through the stillness of the house. Yn's eyes snapped up, startled. She looked at the clock on the wall, 21:35 PM. 

Who could be coming over now?

Her heart skipped, the peaceful stillness suddenly shattered by the sound of the doorbell echoing through the quiet house again. She glanced over at the front door, feeling a moment of hesitation. There weren’t many people who came to visit her after dark, especially in the recent months. Slowly, she made her way towards the front door, her socks sliding gently over the floor. As she reached for the handle, her mind raced with possibilities.

Yn opened the door, still in a bit of a daze, and froze in place when she saw him. There, standing on her doorstep, was Rafe. His chest was rising and falling slightly, as if he’d been rushing, and there was a breathlessness to his words as he spoke rapidly.

What the-

“I’m so sorry, my community service ran over, and I tried to get out earlier so I could be there when you came out, but they wouldn’t let me go- and I know I missed it and—”

She just stared at him, completely speechless, and his rambling faltered, the words tripping over each other as he tried to apologise, to make sense of what had happened. He stopped himself, his eyes searching hers as his hand tightened around the hoodie he was holding. He let out a slow breath, a sense of dread creeping into his expression.

 “How did it go...?”

For a long moment, she said nothing, just looking at him, and a heavy silence stretched between them. Rafe’s gaze darkened, his pulse quickening with worry. He let out a sigh, eyes flicking down to the floor as he wiped a hand over his face in frustration. 

Shit she lost 

“Angel, I’m so—”

And then he stopped mid-sentence as he noticed how the girl’s lips curled into a wide smile, her eyes lighting up with relief, and suddenly, everything clicked. Rafe stared at her, his expression shifting from panic to confusion. 

“Y/N...?”

“I won the case” 

She said simply, her voice a soft but undeniable true relief and pride laced in every syllable.

Holy Shit

His face broke into a grin so wide, it seemed to light up the whole doorway. Without thinking, he surged forward, pulling her into a hug suddenly, she gasped in surprise as her feet lifted slightly off the ground, spinning in a quick, joyful turn, the sheer thrill of the moment buzzing between them.  He set her back down gently, arms still wrapped around her waist, his body tight with excitement and relief. Y/n placed her hands on his chest, steadying herself as she looked up at him, feeling the heat of his chest against her fingertips. He asked, his voice thick with disbelief, a laugh on the edge of his words.

“Really?”

“Yes”

She nodded, her voice brimming with relief, eyes glossed over a little with unexplainable happiness, a weight lifting from her shoulders now that the truth was out. 

“I did.”

Rafe’s arms tightened around her, pulling her closer, as if to make sure this was real. His face buried in her hair, and his voice cracked slightly as he murmured, 

“I’m so proud of you angel” 

The words were full of raw emotion, Y/n just held him tighter, her heart racing, her breath mingling with his. They stayed locked in the embrace for a while, neither of them rushing to pull away. The air between them was thick with the unspoken understanding that this moment, this victory, was bigger than just a court case. It was the culmination of everything that had led them here- everything they’d gone through, together.

When Rafe finally pulled back, he still held her by the waist, his breath was steadying, but there was something in his eyes- an unsaid emotion.

“C’mon,” he murmured, nodding towards the living room. “Let’s get inside, yeah?”

Y/n nodded, feeling a strange mix of exhaustion and relief wash over her as they walked inside, side by side. The boy kicked off his shoes by the door, following her as they moved towards the couch; the warm, soft cushions were a welcome comfort after the intensity of the evening. Rafe sat down first, leaning back, his long legs stretched out in front of him. Y/n sat next to him, curling her feet beneath her, resting her cup of tea on the table in front of them Rafe watched Yn quietly for a moment, his brows furrowed with concern.

 “So, how was it? How did it go?”

Y/n let out a soft, exasperated huff, shifting slightly on the couch. “It was... pretty bad, actually,” she said, her tone a little more solemn than she meant. 

“They gave the verdict, and—” She paused, feeling the weight of it all again as she tried to collect her thoughts, “They said the original ruling was biased. And they... they overturned it. Hale was really strict with them this time. The whole thing just... it didn’t sit right with them. . . or something like that.”

Rafe nodded along, listening intently, his expression unreadable for a moment. “So they- what, they gave you the win, then?”

Y/n nodded, looking down at her tea, a small sigh escaping her lips as she took a sip. She kept her voice steady, though there was a quiet relief in her tone now. “Yeah, they did. But the process... it was so long.” She took another sip of tea, the warmth of it grounding her, and as she held the cup in her lap, she looked over at Rafe. 

My poor girl

“You want some? It’s raspberry,” 

She offered, her voice a little softer now. Rafe gave a small, appreciative smile as he took the cup from her, cradling it in his hands and taking a sip. 

“Hm, that’s really good,” 

He said, his gaze flickering back to her. “Thanks.”

Rafe took another sip of the tea, Y/n, still sitting with her legs curled underneath her, glanced over at him, her expression softening slightly as she studied him. “You know,” she said slowly, her voice a little distant as though nostalgic, 

“. . .it was actually your mom who got me into drinking tea.”

Oh

Rafe paused, the cup halfway to his lips, and looked at her with a surprised expression. “My mom?” he asked, a playful grin creeping onto his face. 

“I had no idea. How so?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a cold evening, the chill creeping into the house and making everything feel a little quieter. Y/n was ten, a little older, but still not quite comfortable without her parents around. They were away on a business trip, as usual, and though she knew she was safe in Tannyhill with Rafe and the other two boys, she missed the familiar warmth of her own home.

The day had been strange. She’d started her first period the day before and was feeling the discomfort that came with it. Her stomach was cramping slightly, and the homesickness weighed on her even more. Rafe, Topper, and Kelce had been upstairs, making noise, but Y/n couldn’t bring herself to join them. She felt a little off, and she couldn’t focus on their chatter. The warmth of the house was comforting, but not quite enough to shake the cold feeling she had inside. So, she made her way downstairs, her socks sliding slightly against the cold wooden floors. The kitchen was seemed empty when she walked in, and the soft glow of the light above the counter filled the room with a welcoming, warm light. But upon closer inspection, Rafe’s mom was standing by the stove, humming softly to herself as she prepared a pot of tea. She looked over when she heard Y/n’s footsteps, her gaze softening as she took in the sight of her. Y/n’s face was flushed from the cold, her eyes a little sad, and her posture slightly hunched in discomfort.

“Hey, sweetheart,” June said gently, her voice always soothing. “You don’t look so good, feeling alright?” 

he stepped forward, setting the kettle aside as she noticed the way Y/n held herself. The young girl hesitated for a moment, not used to being open about how she was feeling, but then shook her head a little.

“I’m not feeling too good” Y/n mumbled, looking down at her socks. “And I’m... just missing my parents”

June’s expression softened further, her eyes full of understanding. “I know that feeling,” she said, her tone warm and kind. “Let me make you something to help you feel better.” She reached for the jar of raspberry leaf tea, her movements careful and comforting.

“Raspberry tea can do wonders when you're feeling a little under the weather. Would you like to try some?”

Y/n nodded, feeling a wave of gratitude rush over her as June filled another cup with the hot, soothing liquid. She handed it over with a soft smile, and the two of them sat at the kitchen table together, the quiet hum of the house filling the space around them. June glanced over at her occasionally, offering small words of comfort, her words weren’t just comforting- it was the kind of motherly advice that felt like it would stick with you forever. Although it wasn’t her own mom-  her presence was more than enough, the warmth of the tea and her calm demeanor making Y/n feel a little more at home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n smiled as she came back to the present, her gaze meeting Rafe’s. She couldn’t help but smile softly at the memory. 

“She always knew how to make people feel special, didn’t she?”

She said quietly. Rafe looked at her, clearly surprised by the story he didn't even know happened, and leaned back against the sofa, a warm smile tugging at his lips.

 “She did,” 

He replied softly, his voice carrying a quiet reverence for his mother. Rafe’s expression faltered for a moment, his gaze turning soft, almost distant, as the memory of his mother settled in. He looked down at the tea cup in his hands, as if searching for something to say.  Y/n noticed the subtle shift in his expression. She didn’t push him to speak more, but her voice softened when she said,

 “I- I see her in you every day, you know.” 

Rafe’s head lifted at her words, his expression unreadable for a moment. The room seemed to hold its breath as Y/n watched him carefully, sensing the weight of the topic. He gave a small nod before speaking, his voice quieter than before.

 “I think she’d be happy… we- well, that we’re still together, you know?”

Y/n’s gaze softened as she met his eyes, a gentle understanding between them. “I think so too,” she said, her voice full of quiet reassurance. A small smile tugged at Rafe’s lips as he leaned back, his shoulders relaxing a little.

“When we used to argue... when we were younger... and you’d go home ‘cause you’d had enough of me,” 

He said with a slight chuckle. Y/n laughed softly at the memory, but Rafe continued, his tone playful now. 

“She used to tell me I better apologise to you, because ‘ You’ll never find anyone else like Y/n’. ” 

Guess you were right mom

He did a mock air-quote around the end of the sentence with a smirk. Y/n’s eyebrows lifted, surprise and amusement in her expression. “Did she really?”

Rafe nodded, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Yeah, yeah she did.”

She loved you like a daughter she just never told you

For a moment, they both just laughed together, the tension between them fading into the warmth of shared memories.  Y/n smiled, the sound of their laughter lingering in the air. 

“I’m glad she did,” she said, her voice sincere, her gaze meeting his with soft affection.

Rafe’s smile softened, looking at her with gratitude. “So am I.”

Y/n settled back against the arm of the sofa, her legs curled beneath her as she looked at him. Her free hand rested on the back of the couch, and her head gently tilted to rest on her palm. For a moment, neither of them spoke, the quiet between them comfortable but expectant. Rafe turned his head slightly, leaning back just a bit so he could meet her eyes, a quiet curiosity in his gaze. Y/n hesitated for just a moment, her thumb brushing the edge of her cup. The air between them shifted slightly, 

“I need to tell you something” 

Rafe’s brow furrowed again as he looked at her, the cup still in his hand. “Is it bad?” His voice was laced with concern, but there was a quiet tension in the way he spoke. Y/n shook her head gently, offering him a small smile.

 “No, it’s actually... good news. You won’t have to do community service anymore, and the anger management class? It’s all been revoked.”

Rafe froze for a moment, staring at her with wide eyes, as if trying to process what she was saying. “What? How?” His voice cracked slightly, the disbelief clear in his tone. 

Y/n let out a soft hum, her smile growing as she met his eyes. “It’s because the verdict was wrong. The court realised there was bias in the ruling. So they basically... reversed it. You don’t have to go through with it anymore cause it’s unjust for you to serve a punishment which wasn’t rightfully decided.”

For a long moment, Rafe simply stared at her, processing the news, before a slow grin began to spread across his face. His eyes softened, and he let out a breath, a rush of relief flooding through him. 

“Are you serious?” 

If she’s lying I swear

He asked, his voice still filled with disbelief. “I don’t... I don’t have to do any of that? Seriously?”

Y/n nodded, the relief and joy in her voice palpable now. “It’s all gone, you’re basically on a clean slate”

Rafe blinked, as though trying to steady himself. He was still a little surprised, the news sinking in. “Holy shit,” he muttered, almost to himself. 

“I didn’t think...I thought I’d be stuck with that shit for ages.”

Y/n smiled, watching him carefully as she adjusted her position on the couch, her legs still tucked under her. “Well you don’t have to worry about it anymore,” she said, her voice a little softer now.

You shouldn’t have had to worry about it in the first place…  

Rafe exhaled, leaning back against the couch hand covering his face momentarily, still absorbing the news. Then, slowly, the corners of his mouth lifted into a smirk.

“So what you’re saying is…” he stretched out his legs, letting out a dramatic sigh,

“I’m finally off the leash?”

Y/n rolled her eyes. “Yes. Mr Rafe. Cameron, you’re off the leash.”

He grinned. “No more early mornings cleaning up beach trash? No more sitting in a circle with a bunch of guys talking about my feelings?”

“Nope.”

Thank fuck

Rafe let out a deep breath, shaking his head. “Damn. Kinda makes me wanna do somethin to celebrate.”

Y/n shot him a look over the rim of her cup. “Right. Because you need another reason to get into trouble.”

He turned to her with a slow, lazy smirk. “You wouldn’t like me if I wasn’t at least a little trouble.”

She huffed a laugh, shaking her head. “I think I’d survive.”

Rafe scoffed, nudging her knee with his. “Lies.”

Fair enough

Y/n set her tea down, giving him a teasingly serious look. “So what now? You gonna go wild? Rob a gas station? Steal a yacht?”

Rafe pretended to think about it, tapping a finger against his chin. “Mm… tempting. But nah.” He looked at her, eyes twinkling. “Apparently, I drink raspberry tea now.” He picked up her cup like it was proof, taking a sip and placing it down.

“Guess I’m reformed.”

The girl laughed, shaking her head. “Wow. Incredible character development.”

He grinned. “Right? Maybe I should send the court a thank-you note.”

He’s so stupid

She rolled her eyes but smiled as she shifted her legs beneath her, settling in more comfortably. The teasing between them was easy, familiar. But underneath it, there was something softer, something real. As Rafe glanced at her again, his smirk faded just slightly—just enough for Y/n to catch a glimpse of the warmth behind it. Rafe stretched his arms over his head, letting out a satisfied sigh.

“You know what we should do?”

Y/n raised a brow, already skeptical. “Oh boy. Here we go.”

He grinned, eyes glinting with mischief. “Go to the beach and celebrate properly.”

What on earth-

She huffed a laugh. “What, by standing around in the dark? So festive.”

He stretched his arms over his head before standing up, already acting like it was decided. “C’mon, it’s not even that late.”

Y/n eyed him, skeptical but intrigued. “Rafe, it’s basically nighttime.”

“And?” he shot back, tilting his head at her.

It’s not. . . safe

She hesitated, her fingers fidgeting with the sleeve of her sweater. She had barely been out since everything happened. It wasn’t that she was afraid exactly, but… she just hadn’t felt like it. The idea of stepping outside, of being in the open again- it made her hesitate, just for a second.

And Rafe noticed.

His teasing expression softened just a little as he looked at her. He could see it now—the way she hesitated, the way her lips pressed together like she was already convincing herself to say no.

“You’ll be fine,” he said quietly. “I’ll be there with you the whole time.”

Y/n looked at him, expression unreadable. For a moment, she didn’t say anything. Rafe just held her gaze, steady and sure, no teasing this time.

Please say yes

Just say yes

Then, finally, she rolled her eyes, letting out a dramatic groan as she pushed herself off the couch. “Fine.” She sighed, shaking her head.

“Let’s go.”

Rafe grinned, triumphant. “Knew you couldn’t resist.”

She smacked his arm as she walked past him, but he just laughed, following her out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They drive in quiet comfort, the roads mostly empty at this time of night. Rafe’s Range Rover rumbles beneath them, the salty night air slipping through the open windows. Y/n watches the familiar streets pass by, the neon lights of late-night diners and gas stations glowing in the dark, until they fade into the open road leading to the shore.

When they finally pull up, the beach is silent—just the rhythmic crash of waves and the distant hum of wind against the dunes. The moon hangs low, its silver light casting a soft glow over the sand. Rafe kills the engine, and for a second, neither of them move, Y/n glances over at him.

“Now what?”

“Now we get out.”

Jesus

He smiles, already pushing open his door. She huffs but follows, stepping onto the cool sand. The breeze is stronger out here, but the night is relatively warm, she tugs at her sleeves as she crosses her arms over herself, a habit she’d seemed to pick up on in the recent months. Rafe, on the other hand, seems completely at ease, stretching as he tilts his head back to look at the sky.

“Forgot how good it feels to be out at night.”

Y/n watches him for a second, noticing the boys t-shirt ride up slightly exposing the sliver of skin above his belt, she turns toward the ocean, the vast darkness stretching endlessly in front of them. The water glistens under the moon, waves rolling in and out, steady and hypnotic. Rafe nudges her with his elbow.

“So? Worth getting off the couch for?”

Definitely

She exhales, pretending to think about it. “Mmm… maybe.”

He snorts. “You’re so annoying.”

No you’re not

Y/n just smirks, nudging him back. And for the first time in a while, she feels it- that quiet, weightless feeling that comes with being somewhere free.

Somewhere with him

The waves crash gently against the shore, a steady rhythm in the quiet of the night. Y/n stands just a little away from the water, arms now wrapped loosely around herself as she gazes out at the endless dark horizon. The moonlight glows against the ocean’s surface, casting shimmering ripples that stretch far beyond where she can see. She’s lost in thought, the cool air pressing against her skin, grounding her.

Rafe is beside her, hands tucked into the pockets of his cargos, watching her more than he watches the water. He notices the way she hesitates, the way she looks like she wants to take a step forward but holds herself back. He realises, not for the first time, how much has changed.

How much she’s changed.

"You okay?"

His voice is steady, but softer than usual, like he already knows the answer. Y/n blinks, as if she forgot he was there for a second, then lets out a small breath. "Yeah," she says, though it’s not entirely convincing,

"Just... taking it in."

Rafe follows her gaze out to the water, the moonlight cutting silver through the waves. "Been a while since you’ve been out like this, hmm?"

She doesn't answer right away, just shifts her weight from one foot to the other. “Yeah,” she admits eventually, her voice quieter this time.

"I don’t know why it feels... different now."

Rafe does. He knows exactly why. But he doesn’t push her to say it. Instead, he bumps his shoulder lightly against hers, a casual touch, but one meant to remind her of his presence.

"You’ll be fine," he says simply, "I’m here."

Y/n’s fingers brush lightly against Rafe’s hand, just barely there, but enough to make his stomach tighten in that familiar way he’s been trying to ignore. The smallest touch, yet it sends something warm curling through his chest. He glances down at her, a slow smile tugging at his lips before he even realises it.  

"You know what we should do?"

He says, breaking the quiet, his voice laced with something playful. Y/n turns her head slightly, eyeing him with suspicion.

"What?"

"Go in."

You’re crazy

He nods toward the water, his grin lazy and full of ease. Y/n lets out a short laugh, shaking her head.

"Yeah- no."

"Why not?" He nudges her with his elbow again. "Come on, it’s just water."

She gives him a flat look. "It’s cold, it’s dark, and we didn’t bring towels genius."

Rafe huffs, tilting his head at her. "You scared?"

Y/n scoffs, folding her arms raising her brow, "Of the ocean? No."

"Then prove it." His smile is all challenge now. "I’ll do it if you do it."

She exhales sharply, staring out at the waves, contemplating. He watches her carefully, seeing the way she bites the inside of her cheek, her weight shifting slightly from foot to foot. And then, finally-

What’s the worse that could happen…?

The girl toed off her shoes, the sand cool beneath her feet.

“So? Who’s chickening out first?”  

Atta girl

Rafe smirked as he tugged off his hoodie. “Not me.”  

She eyed him skeptically. “Uh-huh. We’ll see about that.”  

With that, she turned, pulling her sweater over her head, leaving herself in just her bra and shorts. The whole time, she kept her chin lifted, her expression daring him to hesitate. Rafe’s eyes flickered over her body for a fraction of a second before he yanked off his shirt in one smooth motion.

“Last one in has to buy breakfast,”

He announced, shoving his jeans down and Y/n laughed, kicking off her shorts.

“You are gonna buy me breakfast.”  

And before he could get another word in, she turned and bolted straight for the water.  

Oh, shit-

Rafe took off after her, the sand shifting under his feet. Y/n shrieked as the first wave hit her legs, the cold shocking her system, but she didn’t slow down. Rafe caught up just as she dove under, disappearing beneath the surface. He followed without hesitation, the icy water stealing the breath from his lungs. When they both resurfaced, laughing and breathless, Y/n wiped the salty water from her face.

“Cold as hell,” she gasped.  

Rafe ran a hand through his soaked hair, grinning. “Told you it was a good idea.”  

She snorted. “You’re actually insane.”  

He swam a little closer, his smirk softening into something genuine. “Yeah… but you followed me angel.”  

Shut up

Under the moonlight, with the waves rocking them gently, the moment stretched- an unspoken tension lingering between them. As soon as they're both waist-deep in the water, the mischief began. Rafe sends a small splash her way, and before Y/n can retaliate, he’s already diving under the water. When he resurfaces behind her, she lets out a laugh, half-annoyed, half-delighted. She taunts, flicking water at his face.  

"Oh, you think you're funny?"

"I know I’m funny”

He grins, dodging her next attack and sending a wave right back. The splashing war escalates, both of them laughing breathlessly as the moonlight shimmers on the water. Y/n tries to get the upper hand, lunging at him to push him under, but he’s quicker- effortlessly grabbing her wrists and spinning her around. She gasps as her back presses lightly against his chest, her arms caught in his grip.  

And suddenly, the playfulness slows.  

The sound of the waves becomes the only noise between them. Rafe doesn't let go immediately, his hands still around her wrists, his breath warm against her damp skin. She can feel the steady rise and fall of his chest behind her, the way his fingertips just barely skim her pulse before he finally loosens his hold, his warmth breath by her ear.

Oh

Y/n turns to face him, but they’re closer than she expected. The water laps at their shoulders, their faces only inches apart. His gaze drops to her lips for just a second- just long enough for her to notice, long enough for her breath to catch.  

"You’re quiet all of a sudden," he murmurs, his voice softer now.  

"You are too," she counters, her voice barely above a whisper.  

For a moment, neither of them move.

Just do it

Just do it

The tension hums between them, electric, the weight settling in the space where their laughter used to be. Rafe's fingers twitch at his sides like he wants to reach for her, but—  

A wave crashes into them, knocking Y/n slightly off balance. She lets out a startled yelp, gripping onto Rafe’s arm to steady herself, and just like that, the moment snaps. Rafe chuckles, shaking his head as he runs a hand through his wet hair.

"Guess the ocean wants to join in."  

Fuck you ocean

Y/n hums, rolling her eyes even as her heart still races and her cheeks feel hot. He smirks, tilting his head slightly, Rafe watches her for a second longer before flashing her a teasing grin.

"C’mon, let’s go further out."  

Oh my god

As he swims ahead, Y/n lets out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding, her pulse still erratic. She swallows, then shakes her head.

Fucking Rafe Cameron

They drift further into the water, their movements slower now, the splashing forgotten. The moon hangs high above them, casting silver ribbons over the waves, the only sound the rhythmic lapping of the sea.

Y/n floats onto her back for a moment, letting the water cradle her, eyes slipping closed, but they shoot open again as she’s engulfed by the taunting darkness. The coolness against her skin, the weightlessness- it’s calming- but it’s not enough to keep the memories at bay. She almost forgets Rafe is there until she feels the gentle tug of fingers skimming over her wrist.

She blinks at him, as he treads water beside her. His expression is unreadable, his fingers barely linger before he pulls away, as if testing a boundary neither of them have put into words.

"D’you always do that?" he asks, tilting his head.

"Do what?"

"Slip away."

His voice is even, but there’s something underneath it she can’t quite place. Y/n lets out a small huff, pushing herself upright again arms moving to keep her afloat.

"I’m literally right here, Rafe."

Why do you always change the subject Y/n

He doesn’t respond right away, just watches her with that unreadable look again.

"You know that’s not what I meant."

I know

The words settle between them, dissolving into the sound of the waves. Y/n swallows, unsure how to answer. A part of her wants to deflect, to throw out some sarcastic remark and push past whatever this is; whatever interrogation he’s suddenly put her under. But the way Rafe is looking at her- steady, patient, like he’s seeing her in a way that makes her stomach twist- makes it harder. For once, she doesn’t have an easy comeback. She clears her throat, breaking eye contact.

"You dragged me out here to psychoanalyse me? Thought we were just having fun."

Rafe exhales a quiet chuckle, shaking his head. "We are." He pauses, then smirks. "But for the record, you do tend to change the subject before I can say anything."

What?

Y/n scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest. "Do not."

"Do too."

"Maybe I just don’t want to hear what you have to say."

There’s a flicker of something in Rafe’s eyes at that. "Maybe," he concedes. Then, before she can respond, he suddenly moves- disappearing beneath the water without warning.

Where did he-

Y/n barely has a second to react before she feels hands on her waist, and then- she’s going under.

She lets out a muffled shriek, the salty water rushing around her as Rafe pulls her down with him. The second she reorients herself, she shoves at his chest, kicking back to the surface with a gasp. When she breaks through the water, sputtering, Rafe is already grinning at her, running a hand through his soaked hair like he didn’t just try to drown her.

"You—!" she starts, wiping water from her face. "You are so irritating."

"That’s not very nice"

She glares, but he just keeps smiling, all cocky amusement. And even though she should be mad, even though she should dunk his head back under in retaliation, she can’t help the laugh that escapes her.

They float- shoulders brushing occasionally, water lapping softly at their skin.

It’s peaceful.

Y/n tilts her head back slightly, gazing at the stars, her mind momentarily blank. But the boys voice breaks through the silence.

"I was being genuine, you know"

Rafe says, voice quieter now. She hums in question, not looking at him just yet.

"Hmm?"

"When you drift off," he clarifies. "I notice."

. . .

Y/n finally glances at him, her expression softer now. The playfulness from earlier has melted away, leaving something more raw between them.

"I know you think people don’t notice," Rafe continues, eyes locked on hers. "And maybe they don’t. But I do."

I do

She doesn’t know what to say to that. Because the way he’s looking at her, like he means every word- it’s a little overwhelming. She exhales, eyes flickering away for a moment.

"I don’t mean to," she admits, voice barely above a whisper. "It just… happens. Out of nowhere. One second I’m fine, and the next—" She swallows.

"I just get pulled back."

Rafe doesn’t say anything, doesn’t press. He just listens. Y/n sighs, looking down at the water between them, small ripples passing through the water.

"Sometimes, I wish I could just forget it. That night. Everything that happened. But it doesn’t go away. I’ve tried so hard to just hide it in a corner of my mind but it doesn’t work. No matter how much time passes… it’s still there."

She’s still floating, still weightless, but in that moment, she feels like she’s sinking.

She's moving with more effort now, treading the waves. Rafe shifts slightly, his hand moving beneath the water. For a second, it seems like he’s about to reach for her—but he hesitates. Instead, he lets his fingers just barely brush against hers beneath the surface, his touch light, fleeting.

The water is shallow enough for Rafe to stand comfortably, his shoulders above the surface, while Y/n has to stretch a little to keep afloat. She feels the gentle pull of the tide beneath her feet, her balance wavering for a moment, neck straining slightly to keep her head above the water.

Noticing, Rafe reaches for her, his fingers wrapping around her wrist as he guides her closer. He doesn’t say anything- just pulls her in until her hands naturally find their way to his shoulders.

Y/n exhales softly somewhat in relief, her gaze flickering over his face. The water droplets clinging to his lashes catch the moonlight, and for a second, she just watches them, lost in the small details. Then, barely above a whisper she speaks out.

"I just wish I was normal again."

You are

At that, Rafe’s eyes find hers, searching, steady. He takes in every part of her expression- the flicker of doubt, the weight she’s carrying. He speaks out, quietly yet firmly,

"You are normal."

No I’m not

The space between them feels impossibly small. Y/n’s hands rest lightly on his shoulders, her fingers barely pressing into his skin, and Rafe can feel every shift, every movement. His gaze drops—just for a second. To her lips, slightly parted, soft under the glow of the moonlight, wet with saltwater.

God, I want to kiss you-

But he doesn’t.

Not after what she’s just told him. Not when he knows she’s still healing, still carrying wounds that haven’t fully closed. She needs space and he’s not going to be the one to push her. Instead, he lifts a hand, brushing the small smudge of mascara from her cheek with the pad of his thumb. His touch is gentle, lingering just a second longer than necessary.

"You just need time."

He murmurs, his voice comforting but certain. Y/n’s eyes search his, and for a moment, he wonders if she’ll pull away. But then- a small smile, barely there, find its way to her lips. She gives him a small nod, her hand now fully pressed against his shoulder, grounding herself in the warmth of his skin. Slowly, her other hand trails down his arm, the touch light, deliberate, until her fingers find his under the cool water.

Without hesitation, she intertwines them together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist: @evermorx89 @bellaed1t @user381953 @lovemanheim @loves0phelia @yourcrackleflame @kundaquarius @matthewswifeyy @pillowprincess4him @lilithblackkk @sunny1616 @slut-4-gojo @louxmcl @stelleduarte @p0gue420 @maybanksgirl69 @godharryz @sinnerrsworld @rafe-cameronswife @chillgal135 @moneybaby07 @mrsdrewstarkeyy

[kaiyunsim]

best lover —

pairing : bf!taesan x gn!reader

summary : after taesan works hard for the newest comeback you wanted to get him a gift... something perfect. but you don't know what exactly to get him so you get help from his roommate.

warnings : fluff, angst (just a little bit), tense confrontation, some music references, taesan gets kinda jealous, kind of a continuation of this fic

a/n : this lowkey made me relapse into the emo/punk genre and now i'm actively listening to them again ! taesan so silly here.

queueing : best lover - bibi, and july - heize + dean

[requested]

— wc : 4.8k — not proof read —

you’ve always known taesan was cool.

not in the tryhard way, not in the way people force an image to seem untouchable. no, he’s effortlessly cool. the kind of cool that comes from simply existing, from being so unapologetically himself that it draws people in.

his aesthetic is proof of that—dark clothes, silver rings, an ever-growing collection of band tees that he claims aren’t a collection but still seem to multiply every time you see him. his playlists are filled with gritty guitar riffs and melancholic lyrics, songs that feel like they belong in a coming-of-age film.

you love it. you love the way he leans against walls like a movie character, the way his fingers tap out drum beats on tables when he’s lost in thought. the way his voice gets softer when he talks about music, when he lets his guard down just enough for you to see the warmth underneath.

so, when their comeback is finally announced, when you see the hours of training, late-night rehearsals, and exhaustion culminate into something incredible, you know you need to do something. something that says, i see you. i see how hard you’ve worked, and i’m proud of you.

but what do you get someone like taesan?

he’s never been the type to want extravagant gifts. he shrugs off praise, mumbles “it’s nothing” when people tell him he’s done well. but you know he keeps every little note fans give him, that he still has the random trinkets the members bought him over the years.

so it has to be something personal. something that actually means something.

you think about it for days, running through ideas in your head. clothes? no, too easy. he already has everything he likes. accessories? maybe, but he’s picky, and you don’t trust yourself to pick out something he’d actually wear.

and then it hits you.

vinyls.

taesan loves music in a way that’s deeper than just listening. he collects records, always talking about how certain albums sound different on vinyl, how the warmth and crackle make it feel more alive. you’ve seen the way he runs his fingers over the covers, the way he carefully places them on his turntable like he’s handling something sacred.

but you don’t know enough about it.

you know the bands he listens to, sure, but not the specific pressings, not which editions are worth having, not which ones he’s been searching for. you need help.

so, you text the only person who would know and would be the most help.

sungho.

—

you: hey, random question, but do you think you could help me with something?

he replies almost immediately.

sungho: depends. am i gonna regret saying yes?

you snort. typical.

you: no, it’s for taesan. i wanna get him some vinyls, but i don’t know which ones he’d actually want.

a pause. then—

sungho: oh. you’re going ot make him a happy boyfriend for sure. sungho: yeah, i can help. you free tomorrow?

relief washes over you.

you: yeah. thanks, sungho. seriously.

sungho: don’t thank me yet. wait till we actually find something good.

you smile, pocketing your phone.

this is a good plan. a perfect plan.

now, you just have to keep it a secret.

the next morning, you wake up with a nervous excitement buzzing under your skin.

taesan is still half-asleep when you see him, his hair messy from sleep, the collar of his oversized shirt slipping down one shoulder. he looks soft like this, different from his usual sharp edges and guarded expressions.

“morning,” you say, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before he can grumble in protest.

he mumbles something incoherent, eyes still closed, before reaching out and lazily wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you closer.

you laugh, poking his side. “i have to go out for a bit.”

that wakes him up a little. his eyes blink open, groggy but alert. “where?”

you freeze for half a second before forcing yourself to play it cool. “just running errands.”

his brow furrows slightly, but he doesn’t question it. instead, he just tightens his grip around you for a moment before letting go.

“be safe,” he mumbles, voice still thick with sleep.

your heart squeezes at that.

you brush his hair out of his face, letting your fingers linger for a second longer than necessary. “always.”

—

meeting up with sungho feels like a mission.

he’s already waiting outside the taesan's dorm room, dressed casually but still effortlessly put together, a stark contrast to the slightly chaotic energy you’re bringing with you.

“you look nervous,” he says, amused.

“because i am.”

he raises an eyebrow. “it’s just vinyl shopping.”

“yeah, but it’s for taesan,” you stress. “i can’t mess this up. i need to find something perfect.”

sungho rolls his eyes but leads the way inside the vinyl store, hidden in the corners of the busy streets.

the moment you step in, you’re overwhelmed.

rows and rows of records stretch out in front of you, organized into sections you barely understand. the store smells like old paper and something nostalgic, a quiet hum of music playing from the speakers.

sungho glances at you. “you know what bands he likes, right?”

you nod. “yeah, but i don’t know what he already has.”

“then we start with the basics.”

he guides you through the aisles, pointing out albums that fit taesan’s taste. some are obvious bands you’ve seen on his playlists, artists you recognize from the posters in his room. others, not so much.

“this one’s a classic,” sungho says, pulling out a worn-looking album. “he’s mentioned it before, i think he even has a t-shirt of them.”

it was the black parade by my chemical romance

you take it from him, running your fingers over the cover. “do you think he already has the vinyl?”

sungho shakes his head. “nah, he would’ve bragged about it if he did.”

you smile at that. taesan isn’t the bragging type, not really, but when it comes to things he loves, he can’t help but share them with you. you can already picture the way his eyes will light up when he sees the gift, the way he’ll trace the album cover with careful fingers before hugging you in that quiet, deliberate way of his.

this is good. this is exactly what you wanted.

you glance at sungho. “i think we’re on the right track.”

he smirks. “told you.”

you roll your eyes but can’t hide your grin.

this is going to be perfect.

if you can keep it a secret long enough.

you flip through the stacks carefully, the plastic sleeves crinkling under your fingertips as you skim the selection. rows of album covers stare back at you, some bold and vibrant, others muted and mysterious, each one a different piece of someone’s story.

sungho stands beside you, already pulling out records with ease, flipping them over to check editions and pressings like it’s second nature.

“how do you even know all this?” you ask, watching as he inspects a black-and-white cover, his eyes narrowing slightly before he shakes his head and puts it back.

he smirks. “taesan’s not the only one with taste, you know.”

you roll your eyes. “yeah, but you act like this is your second home.”

he hums, running his fingers along the edge of a shelf. “it kinda is. when i first moved into the dorms, i’d come to places like this just to kill time. got to know a lot about music that way.”

that makes sense. sungho has that effortless, older-brother energy, the kind that makes you feel like he’s always been one step ahead of everyone else. but even so, you know there’s more to it. something about the way he says it, like music was a comfort rather than just a hobby.

you glance down at the album in your hands. the artwork is dramatic, painted in deep reds and blacks, the kind of thing you could easily imagine taesan leaving out on his desk just because it looks cool. it was titled a fever you can’t sweat out this time, by panic at the disco

you hesitate. “what about this one?”

sungho looks over, and to your relief, he nods in approval. “solid pick. taesan likes them. they have that whole raw, gritty sound he’s into.”

you exhale, setting it aside in the growing pile of vinyls you’ve picked out. “good. i was kinda guessing.”

sungho snickers. “if you were completely guessing, you would’ve picked something embarrassing.”

you give him a flat look. “i wouldn’t do that.”

“you sure? no boyband vinyls hidden in that stack?”

“why are you acting like that would be a crime?”

he laughs, shaking his head. “nah, but taesan would probably combust.”

you grin at the thought. he probably would. his whole tough, brooding image crumbling the second someone dared to associate him with anything remotely bright and upbeat. you’ve teased him about it before, played pop songs in his presence just to watch him pretend he wasn’t listening.

but this isn’t about teasing him. this is about him.

you glance around the store, taking in the dim lighting, the faint sound of a record spinning in the background. a few other customers linger nearby, flipping through vinyls with the same careful reverence, but none of them seem rushed. it’s the kind of place taesan would get lost in, taking his time with every shelf, soaking in the atmosphere.

you wish he was here.

you shake the thought away before it can settle too deep.

“okay,” you say, straightening up. “i think i need at least one more.”

sungho scans the shelves before reaching over and pulling out a record without hesitation.

“this.”

you take it from him, studying the cover. it’s striking… american idiot by greenday.

“he’s been looking for this one,” sungho explains. “i remember him complaining about how it’s always out of stock.”

your chest warms. “then that’s perfect.”

sungho grins. “congrats, you officially have a good gift… or multiple”

you roll your eyes but can’t help but smile. “thanks for the approval.”

“anytime.”

you head to the counter, placing the records down carefully as the cashier rings them up. the prices make you wince a little. vinyl collecting is not cheap. but you don’t hesitate. taesan is worth it.

when you step back outside, the air feels cooler, a slight breeze brushing against your skin. sungho stretches beside you, squinting up at the sky.

“so,” he says. “how are you planning to give it to him?”

you blink. “uh. just... give it to him?”

he gives you a flat look. “you’re really bad at this.”

“excuse me?”

“c’mon,” he says. “you go through all this trouble, sneak around just to surprise him, and you’re just gonna hand it to him like it’s a bag of chips?”

you frown. “what am i supposed to do? make a scavenger hunt?”

“i mean, that would be funny.”

“sungho.”

he chuckles. “fine, fine. but at least make it a moment, you know? like, put them in a nice box or something. set the mood a little.”

you consider that. he’s right. you don’t just want this to be a casual exchange. you want taesan to feel how much this means.

“okay,” you say slowly. “i’ll think of something.”

sungho pats your shoulder. “good. because if you don’t, i’m telling him i helped.”

you gasp. “you wouldn’t.”

his grin is downright evil. “try me.”

you groan, shoving him lightly as he laughs.

but despite the teasing, there’s a warmth in your chest that wasn’t there before. because for all the effort, all the second-guessing, all the overthinking. you know this is the right thing to do.

you just hope taesan sees it that way, too.

you and sungho are now wandering the streets, bags in hand, the weight of them a constant reminder of what you're keeping from taesan. there's a knot in your stomach, anxiety creeping in at the thought of what will happen once you return to the dorm.

sungho notices you fidgeting with your phone, eyes flicking between your screen and the road ahead. "you've been checking your messages like every two seconds," he says with a knowing smile. "taesan giving you trouble?"

"i... i don’t know," you mutter, glancing at your phone again. "he hasn’t texted yet. i think he’s mad."

sungho snorts. "he’s always mad."

you roll your eyes but can't help the tension building inside you. it's not like taesan to be suspicious like this. sure, he's possessive at times, but you’ve always been upfront with him. today, though, everything feels off. you know he’s probably wondering where you are, especially after leaving so abruptly.

after a few more moments of walking, your phone buzzes in your hand. it’s a message from taesan.

you open it quickly, your heart dropping when you read the text.

taesan: where are you?

you can almost hear the frustration in his words, even though they’re so short. you hesitate for a moment, trying to figure out how to respond. the last thing you want is to reveal anything.

“everything okay?” sungho asks, glancing at you with a raised eyebrow.

“yeah,” you say quickly, typing back a response. "just... running… errands…"

you: just out. why?

you hit send and try to push the worry away. but it doesn’t help when your phone buzzes again, another message from taesan.

taesan: are you by yourself?

your stomach tightens. it feels like he’s fishing for something, trying to confirm his suspicions. you swallow hard. taesan doesn’t know you’re out with sungho. he probably thinks you’re just alone, maybe out with someone else. the thought of him jumping to conclusions makes you tense up.

“you need to tell him the truth, man,” sungho says, half-joking but still serious. “it’s gonna be hard to keep it up much longer.”

you bite your lip, looking at the text again. taesan doesn’t like being kept in the dark. but if you tell him you're out with sungho, there's no way you can keep the surprise a secret.

you: yeah, just me. out by myself.

you send the message quickly, almost immediately regretting it. the lie feels wrong in your gut, but you can’t risk ruining the surprise.

as soon as you hit send, another text from taesan comes through.

taesan: you didn’t tell me where you went. it’s weird, you know. don’t lie to me.

your heart sinks. this is exactly what you were afraid of. you can feel his frustration radiating through the words, even though they’re brief. taesan might not say it outright, but you know he’s pissed.

“is he mad?” sungho asks, eyes narrowing as he watches you.

“yeah,” you say quietly, looking at the screen again. “he thinks i’m lying.”

sungho tilts his head, his expression softening. “well, you kind of are...”

you groan, feeling guilty. “yeah, but if i tell him the truth, he’ll know what we’re really doing.”

sungho sighs but doesn’t press. “you’ve got to be careful, though. taesan can’t stand being lied to. he might feel like you’re hiding something else.”

you take a deep breath, trying to push the anxiety aside. “he’s just overthinking it. i’ll deal with it when we get back.”

you walk in silence for a bit longer, and the weight of the lie is starting to feel unbearable. but then your phone buzzes again. it’s from taesan.

taesan: riwoo just told me you’re out with sungho. why didn’t you say that?

your heart stops. it feels like everything is crashing down around you. of course, taesan would hear from riwoo. he always does. but you didn’t think it would happen so soon.

sungho laughs lightly, though it’s more nervous than anything else. “i mean, it’s not like you didn’t want him to find out.”

you stare at the message, feeling a mix of guilt and frustration. “he’s so mad now...”

“you better fix it,” sungho says with a small chuckle. “he’s gonna blow up on you if you keep avoiding the truth.”

you sigh, rubbing your eyes. “i don’t know how to fix it. i’ve already lied twice.”

“well,” sungho says, “maybe you just gotta... tell him the truth at this point. no more hiding.”

but you’re not ready to do that. not yet. the surprise is too important to mess up now.

you type out a message, your hands shaking a little as you try to keep it steady.

you: i’m sorry. we just bumped into eachothee

you press send, waiting for taesan’s response with bated breath.

it takes a while, but finally, your phone buzzes.

taesan: it was a coincidence?

you let out a sigh of relief. it's not as bad as it could have been, but you still feel like you’ve messed up.

you: yeah, i went out to grab some stuff, and boom, sungho was there getting some stuff for the dorm too

you wait for a reply, and when it comes, it’s still not as angry as you expected, but you can hear the frustration in taesan’s words.

taesan: you know, you could’ve just told me. i don’t like when you hide stuff from me.

your heart drops, and you feel guilty again. you want to explain yourself, but you’re afraid it’ll make everything worse.

“he’s really pissed now,” you say quietly to sungho, who nods sympathetically.

“you should’ve just told him earlier,” he says, though his tone is more playful than critical. “now you gotta go back and fix it.”

you take a deep breath, realizing sungho’s right. you’re going to have to deal with the fallout when you get back to the dorm.

you decide on sungho’s dorm since taesan is rooming with woonhak and jaehyun so it would be perfect to wrap his gift all together and put final touched on it.

but once you open the door, you stand frozen at the door of sungho’s dorm, heart hammering in your chest. the moment taesan walks in, everything about the room shifts. his presence fills the space, and even though he’s not saying anything yet, you feel the weight of his gaze.

“so, this is where you’ve been?” taesan’s voice cuts through the silence. it’s sharper than usual, colder too. he looks at you, then at sungho, his eyes narrowing. “i thought you said you were by yourself.”

you feel your breath catch in your throat. his words hit harder than expected, but you force a smile, trying to keep your cool. “i was… i mean, i am.”

taesan tilts his head, his eyes scanning you like he’s trying to figure out if you’re lying. you take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “i just bumped into sungho, we were talking, and i guess riwoo saw us leave together.” you’re already regretting how this sounds, but you can’t back down now. you have to keep the lie intact.

“bumped into sungho?” taesan’s voice drips with suspicion. “so it’s just a coincidence you were both out together?”

you nod quickly, hoping he buys it. “yeah, we were just… talking, you know? nothing serious. i just didn’t want to bother you while you were busy.”

taesan crosses his arms, studying you with a sharp gaze. “that doesn’t sound right.”

the air between you two feels like it’s crackling with tension. you swallow hard, knowing you can’t let him get too suspicious. “it’s really nothing, taesan. you know i wouldn’t lie to you about this.”

“you wouldn’t, huh?” taesan says slowly, his tone soft but with a dangerous edge. “then why didn’t you just tell me? why go through all this just to cover up some… coincidence?”

you flinch slightly at his words, the guilt gnawing at you. but you won’t break. you can’t spoil the surprise now. not when everything is so close to being perfect.

“i didn’t want to bother you with the details,” you say, hoping he buys it. “i just figured i’d spend some time with sungho, that’s all.” you glance at sungho for a moment, but he’s standing still, like he’s unsure whether to step in.

taesan watches you for a long beat, and you can see the wheels turning in his mind. his expression hardens. “so you thought it’d be better to lie to me, to sneak around?”

your chest tightens, the weight of his words sinking in deeper than you expected. “taesan, it’s not like that.”

“really?” taesan’s voice rises, a hint of frustration creeping in. “because that’s exactly what it sounds like. i don’t know, it’s just hard to believe that you’re not hiding something. are you trying to cover something up?”

you feel your heart race. this is spiraling out of control, and you don’t know how to stop it. the last thing you want is for him to think you’re doing something behind his back.

“taesan, please,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. “you’re overthinking this. i didn’t want to tell you because i didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.” you force yourself to look him in the eye, trying to convey sincerity. “it’s nothing, really.”

taesan doesn’t respond right away. he’s still standing there, arms crossed, eyes cold as he studies you. you feel like he’s dissecting every word you’ve said, trying to figure out if you’re being honest or not.

“so what, this is all just some coincidence?” taesan asks again, voice dripping with doubt. “you just happened to be with sungho, and riwoo just happened to see you leaving together?”

you nod quickly, trying to sound convincing. “yeah, that’s it. it’s just a coincidence, taesan.”

taesan lets out a long breath, his frustration simmering just under the surface. he doesn’t seem convinced, but he doesn’t push further. yet.

“you’re making this harder than it needs to be,” you say, trying to change the subject. “it’s nothing. seriously.”

taesan stays quiet, his eyes narrowing, still unconvinced. “i don’t know if i believe you, but fine. if you say so.”

there’s a moment of silence between you two, and you can almost feel the distance growing between you. you want to tell him the truth, but you can’t risk it. not yet.

“you didn’t need to lie to me, you know,” taesan says softly, his gaze softer but still guarded. “you could’ve just told me where you were. there wouldn’t have been any problem.”

“i know,” you say, your heart sinking. “but i didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

the moment you say it, you regret it. taesan’s eyes flash with confusion, but he doesn’t say anything. he just watches you, waiting.

“what surprise?” taesan asks, the suspicion back in his voice.

you hesitate, panic rising. you can’t tell him, not yet. not when you’re this close.

“it’s nothing,” you say quickly, forcing a smile. “i just didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

taesan’s gaze sharpens again. “you’re lying. i can tell.”

you want to scream, to tell him the truth, but you stay silent, your heart heavy with the pressure of it all.

“you’ve been hiding something from me, haven’t you?” taesan asks, his voice quiet now, as if he’s piecing everything together.

you look away, unable to meet his eyes. you can’t keep lying, but you can’t give in either. not yet.

“taesan, please,” you whisper. “just trust me. i don’t want to hurt you.”

he sighs, his expression softening just a little. “i trust you, but it’s hard when you keep lying to me. i just don’t get why you couldn’t tell me what was going on.”

you open your mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. your throat feels tight, and your mind is racing, trying to figure out how to get yourself out of this mess.

“i’m sorry,” you finally say, your voice barely audible. “i didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

taesan looks at you for a long moment, his face softening a bit. “it’s fine,” he says quietly. “but next time, just tell me. no more lies.”

you nod, relieved but still filled with guilt.

there’s a long silence, and then you finally reach into your bag and pull out the vinyl and the trinkets you picked out for him. you hold them out to him, your hands shaking.

“here,” you say softly, voice full of apology. “i got these for you. i… i thought you’d like them.”

taesan takes the items slowly, his expression unreadable. after a few moments, he looks up at you. “you didn’t have to do this,” he says, his voice softening. “but… thanks.”

you smile weakly, still feeling the weight of everything. “i’m sorry for making you mad.”

taesan sighs, stepping closer to you. “it’s okay. just promise me no more lies, alright?”

“promise,” you say quietly.

and for the first time in what feels like forever, the tension begins to melt away. taesan pulls you into a hug, and you let yourself relax, knowing that you’ll have to make things right.

but for now, you’re just grateful that he’s still here.

taesan is silent for a long time, just staring at the vinyls in his hands. his fingers trace over the covers, his expression unreadable.

you shift nervously, waiting for some kind of reaction. was this too much? was this not what he would’ve liked? sungho had assured you it was a good choice, but now, standing here with taesan’s gaze locked onto the gift, doubt creeps in.

“you really did all this for me?” taesan finally asks, voice quieter now.

you nod quickly. “of course i did. you just had a comeback, and i wanted to get you something that actually fit your taste. something you’d really like.”

he exhales slowly, his grip tightening around the vinyls for a second before he looks up at you. his expression has softened completely, the cold edge gone. instead, there’s something else… something warmer.

“you’re an idiot,” he mutters, but there’s no bite to his words. in fact, his lips twitch slightly, like he’s trying not to smile. “you could’ve just told me.”

“and ruin the surprise?” you huff, crossing your arms. “not a chance.”

taesan sighs, shaking his head. “you made me worry for nothing.”

“i didn’t mean to,” you mumble, guilt creeping back in.

he looks at you for another long second before stepping forward, wrapping his arms around you. his hold is firm, secure, like he’s grounding himself in your presence.

you blink, surprised at the sudden affection, but quickly melt into the embrace. his scent is familiar, and the warmth of his body makes all the stress from earlier fade.

“don’t do that again,” he mutters into your hair. “just tell me next time.”

you nod against his chest. “okay. i promise.”

he pulls back slightly, just enough to look at you, his dark eyes still holding a bit of lingering frustration. but it’s different now. less about suspicion, more about the fact that you worried him.

his eyes flicker to sungho, and his warmth disappears just slightly as he levels a glare at him. “and you,” he says, narrowing his eyes.

sungho raises his hands defensively. “hey, don’t look at me like that. i was just helping.”

“helping,” taesan repeats, clearly not convinced. “spending hours alone with y/n, keeping secrets, sneaking around.”

sungho rolls his eyes. “yeah, yeah, i get it. i’d be mad too. but it’s not like that.”

“doesn’t matter,” taesan grumbles, still glaring. “you still got too comfortable.”

you groan, tugging at his sleeve. “taesan, please. it’s not like we were on a date or something.”

taesan clicks his tongue but lets it go, instead looking back at the items in his hands. now that he’s actually processing it, his expression shifts, like he’s finally realizing what you got him, without the worry of why you were lying.

“wait,” he mutters, flipping it over. “this album… where did you find this?”

you grin. “special store sungho knew about. he helped me find the best ones.”

taesan pauses for a moment, then looks at you again, softer this time. “you really went through all this trouble just to get me something i’d like?”

you scoff. “of course i did. i love you, you idiot.”

his ears turn red. it’s subtle, but you notice it. he looks away, clearing his throat. “you’re the idiot,” he mumbles, gripping the vinyls like it’s the most precious thing in the world. “but… thanks.”

he pulls you into another hug, holding you tight, like he doesn’t want to let go.

and just like that, everything feels right again.

[probably-flowers-and-cats]

it happens. sometimes. very rarely, so he has no reasons to be concerned about it. the days when everything feels heavy, when every move seems impossible, and breathing goes almost silent — it's still present, Sakura is still alive, no worries, it's just harder to do. the days when he doesn't feel like eating, coming outside, talking. only sleeping. to curl into the ball under the thin blanket, let the darkness consume him, and he finally can drift away into nothingness that gives him the much needed sense of tranquility.

the thing is he's not alone anymore.

before Makochi, no one was worried when he didn't show up in school or outside of his room. no one cared.

Makochi is different.

the day comes, eventually, and drags him under the blanket into the void of exhaustion, breathing drains his last drops of energy, and he slowly slips away into anxious sleep, full of images from his past.

Sakura wakes up soft and warm.

his house smells of food, and he hears muffled voices in the kitchenette of his, voices familiar. curtains closed, and he didn't remember touching them. on the table Kiryu brought weeks ago he sees tea and some sweets from shops nearby. Sakura frowns.

who?..

"you're awake," Suo's voice comes before Sakura sees his friend. Nirei follows Suo, and Sakura pulls himself to sit up and face them properly at least. he tries to say something in reply, but Suo shakes his head. "you're tired. don't exhaust yourself more than you've done already."

probably, the puzzled expression gives him away.

"you're not that subtle as you think, Sakura-kun. it's always piling up and eventually buries you under the rubber of everything you've tried to carry on your own."

what the damn are they talking about?

"we've noticed," Nirei says, placing plates on the table, "that you've been more silent than usual and it became harder for you to keep up with everything. it's fine, we've got your back," Nirei's grin looks like his usual one, but Sakura feels hidden sorrow behind it.

"I don't understand," Sakura finally lets words slip, ignoring how every one of them feels heavier than previous. "what are you guys talking about?" Suo and Nirei exchange look, and this one even for him is obvious — they're not just mad or upset, they're devastated and livid, and yet it's not addressed to him. for him they show only gentleness when Nirei tucks his blanket tighter and Suo turns and gives him freshly poured cup of tea, smelling of honey and flowers.

"we'll explain it to you later, Sakura-kun. for now, please, rest. we will be here when you wake up."

the tea Suo brewed seems to have magic in it, because the next moment after he finishes the cup, the sleep comes and it's much more softer than before.

he dreams of the green field, flowers, and friends, holding him tight and dearly.

gotta admit I didn't plan on giving Sakura such bad days when having one but luckily he has Suo and Nirei now, and they'll explain to him that nothing goes unnoticed and always leaves a trace. his past included, years of everything finally catching up to him, and refection he faced, pain, and isolation — it won't be soothed in one night, but, again, he's not alone anymore.

(Suo and Nirei, hug him and shower and love and care, pls)

[pastorfutureletthembe]

I love YINGDU as it is

I don't think I'll read these interviews everyone is talking about :/ I thought hard about it, I've read the general points of it, but I don't think reading them will make me enjoy YINGDU more. Quite the opposite actually.

Me: thank you but no thank you. Later maybe. Love you, still.

I don't understand why they had to get interviewed to clear things up. By why, I mean, this situation is fucked up and I don't get how things got like this in this industry.

First. Can't the fans just wait and see? We're grownups, stop treating us like children who cried to get a lollipop. We'll still be here next year. Trust your fanbase.

Second... in what kind of world were the animators under pressure to the point they created plot holes and new timelines by accident? I'm extrapolating but, for real, how fucked up is it that they decided to rush a show that popular for the sake of airing it early? I'm sorry, was the money we spend on merch every few weeks not enough? I'm just mad at the production, honestly. Because they made a big mistake.

They're rushing in like bulls in a china shop. The character PVs were a mistake as well. They should have been released after YINGDU, to manage our expectations on characters that were yet to be introduced. I used to think it was an actual teaser, a window on how Lu Guang saw them or what they will become because of Lu Guang's meddling with the timeline. Now, I'm starting to think they needed strong marketing to get people's attention.

The whole thing makes my viewer experience less than optimal. So I'll keep writing meta but I won't take these interviews into account. 🧩Meta is for fun🧩, mere interpretation, only fanon, and that's okay. Meta is gamble. Meta is character study and theories on plot twists.

✨And that's okay✨

We're not suppose to write season 3 in advance. So it makes sense to me to keep having fun on what the show and the official content bring us. But as far as I'm concerned, the interviews didn't happen. It's not denial, just-

When I was studying cinema in university, my teacher once told me a very harsh truth: if you have to explain the sequence you filmed, then you didn't film it right. Sadly, in this context, production limitations were at fault but the lasting impression is the same.

Do you realize how insane it is that a creative team has to spell their work out to their fans? How humiliating it must be? There's revealing easter egg, teasing next season, spilling spoilers on accident, and then there is whatever that was. I feel for the creators and animators who worked themselves to exhaustion to bring something as beautiful as YINGDU to life. Because this season? It isn't perfect and it's inconsistent and different but no one can call it ugly. I would lick my screen because the image does look tasty lmao. My heart bleeds for all the people involved in this season.

Meta is trying to understand and noticing easter eggs, honouring the writers and animators' work X

Of course, that's only my stand on the topic. I might take different directions in my interpretation than others, that's all. Aaaaaand? Yes. That's okay 🥰

As an artist myself, I feel like the situation is kind of disappointing for the people who worked on YINGDU. That's why I'll take the canon as it is. I don't want to mourn what could be or should have been. I want to enjoy what is.

Meta is diving in the depth of symbolism X

As a fan, I get that we're happy with every nugget of information on what's coming next. The lore in Link Click is still blurry and while I honestly want to believe it is an artistic choice and will stay under control, I can't help but fear it's the result of bad writing. But. What if it is? Meh, I'm still here, enjoying myself. Because I love this show as it is, I see the flaws and the beauty in it. I'll be there.

Meta is love and each of us expresses it differently X

[helvegen-s]

crossing lines | five

index

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x OC

Summary: In the dizzying world of Formula 1, where speed and competition dominate every second, Carlos Sainz Jr., a young Spanish driver with undeniable talent, struggles to find his place amidst the pressure and expectations. Livia Visconti, heiress to an Italian fashion empire, moves with the same determination in a universe of elegance and power. Two opposing worlds, two strong personalities, an inevitable clash that will ignite a spark between them. But in a world where image and success are everything, can they risk it all for a love that defies the rules of the game?

WC: 4.3k

Warnings: emotional abuse, verbal abuse, toxic relationships, past trauma

A/N: this is coming to an end!! i planed this story to be short (two more parts), since it's the first time i've ever written anything f1 related. i hope you are liking it :))

Livia sat on the edge of her bed, her fingers gently swirling the wine in her glass. Her friends, gathered around the room, watched her with curious smiles, waiting for her to speak. The night had been magical, and now it was her turn to share.

"So... what happened?" Chiara asked, leaning forward with excitement. "Tell us everything!"

Livia smiled, her heart still fluttering from the events of the evening. She took a deep breath, her gaze distant for a moment as she remembered Carlos's touch, his tenderness. It was as if everything felt... different now.

"It was... perfect," Livia began softly, her voice betraying the happiness she hadn’t allowed herself to fully feel in a long time. "We walked along the harbor, talked about everything and nothing... It just felt... easy, you know? Like we were on the same page. And when he kissed me..." She paused, a smile tugging at her lips. "It was like everything else faded away. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I could just... breathe."

Her friends exchanged knowing glances, their smiles widening. Chiara raised an eyebrow. "So, what does that mean for you and him?"

Livia took a sip of wine, her thoughts momentarily drifting to the man who had made her feel like this. "I don’t know. But for the first time in... forever, I feel like something can actually go right. That maybe, just maybe, I can have something real, something that makes sense. It’s... refreshing."

"Real?" Serena asked, tilting her head slightly. "I thought you didn’t do real anymore."

Livia smiled, but there was a quiet sadness in her eyes. "I didn’t think I could, either. After everything..." She trailed off, the weight of her past suddenly clouding her moment of happiness.

Chiara looked at her closely. "What do you mean?"

Livia’s gaze lowered, as though searching for the right words. "My ex... He destroyed so much of my trust. I didn’t even realize how much until recently. It wasn’t just the relationship; it was everything that came with it. The way he controlled everything, manipulated me. It was like I was suffocating, and I didn’t even know how to breathe on my own anymore." She paused, swallowing the lump in her throat. "That’s why I’ve always been so guarded, why I kept people at arm's length. I didn’t know how to let anyone in after that. I was too scared."

Her friends sat quietly, taking in her words. Chiara finally spoke, her voice soft but firm. "I get it, Liv. But Carlos... he’s not him. You know that, right?"

Livia nodded, her heart swelling with a mix of hope and hesitation. "I know. That’s the part that scares me. But with Carlos, it’s different. He doesn’t want to change me. He just... gets me. For once, someone isn’t judging me or pushing me to be something I’m not. He understands what it’s like to always have eyes on you. It’s like... like we don’t have to explain ourselves to each other."

Martina smiled knowingly, her voice teasing. "Well, it sounds like someone’s already falling."

Livia laughed, a playful lightness returning to her tone. "Maybe I am. But I’m taking it slow. I don’t want to rush into anything."

"Of course," Chiara said with a knowing wink. "But don’t forget to enjoy it. You deserve to feel good, Liv. After everything, you deserve something real."

Livia smiled at her friends, her heart lighter than it had been in a long time. For the first time in years, she felt like she could truly embrace the possibility of something better. And maybe, just maybe, Carlos was the person who would make that possible.

The Amalfi sun bathed the coastline in its warm glow, and Livia began to notice something she hadn’t felt in a long time—her laughter came naturally, free of any weight. Every day with Carlos felt like a little adventure, and as they explored together, she felt the walls she had built around herself slowly crumble.

They filled their days with all kinds of plans. One morning, Carlos rented a small sailboat, and not far from the harbor, they found a hidden cove where they spent the afternoon swimming and laughing. Another day, they drove to a nearby town, wandering through its narrow streets and poking around in charming souvenir shops.

Each day brought a new excuse to steal kisses, share subtle touches, and enjoy the thrill of discovering each other in ways they hadn’t before.

The idea of horseback riding came up casually over breakfast on a terrace overlooking the sea. Livia had mentioned, with visible excitement, how riding had always been one of her favorite activities growing up—a source of peace.

Carlos, not one to back down from an adventure, agreed to the plan but confessed he’d never been on a horse before.

“Never?” Livia asked, both surprised and amused.

“Never,” Carlos admitted, laughing. “But I’m willing to give it a shot. Just don’t laugh if I fall.”

At the stable, nestled among green hills with breathtaking views of the Mediterranean, Livia took the lead. Dressed in light riding pants and boots, she greeted the owner, an old family friend, with a natural confidence. She quickly picked out a calm horse for Carlos.

“This is Nero,” she said, stroking the neck of a dark brown horse. “He’s gentle and perfect for beginners. Don’t worry—he won’t bite.”

“And what if I outrun you?” Carlos teased, eyeing Nero as if sizing up an opponent.

“Then I’ll have to show you what years of practice can do,” Livia quipped, mounting her white horse with ease.

The ride started slowly, with Livia explaining the basics. “Sit straight, but stay relaxed. Keep the reins firm, but don’t pull too hard. And please, don’t try to go faster unless you’re sure of yourself.”

Carlos raised an eyebrow. “Any more advice, or are you just trying to prove I’m a rookie?”

“Don’t get defensive!” she shot back with a playful smile. “Come on, Nero’s your teammate now.”

Carlos moved stiffly at first, every step of the horse making him wobble awkwardly. Meanwhile, Livia glided gracefully, her years of experience evident.

“Having fun?” she called back, pausing to let him catch up.

“Absolutely,” Carlos replied, feigning confidence. “Though I think my legs are going to hate me tomorrow.”

After some practice, Livia suggested a gentle trot. “Come on, try to keep up,” she challenged.

“If I fall, you have to promise not to laugh.”

“No promises,” she said with a mischievous grin before urging her horse forward.

To his credit, Carlos managed to keep up, his determination earning Livia’s admiration. By the end of the ride, with the sun setting over the hills, he dismounted clumsily but with a genuine smile.

“Well, I survived. That counts as an achievement, right?”

Livia approached him, still laughing softly. “You did well for your first time. Though I think Nero deserves most of the credit.”

“So the horse is the favorite, huh?” Carlos teased, brushing dust off his pants.

Livia smiled warmly. “You might have to visit Amalfi more often. I never thought I’d see you on a horse.”

Carlos shrugged. “What can I say? For you, I’ll try anything.”

As they walked back together, the horses trailing behind, the fading sunlight painted the sky in shades of gold and pink. Livia felt a rare sense of contentment, knowing these moments with Carlos were what truly mattered.

They didn’t spend all their time alone. Some nights, Livia joined Carlos at gatherings with his childhood friends. One evening, at a beachside bar, a group of musicians began improvising a song, and Livia, encouraged by the wine and the festive atmosphere, joined in singing. From his spot at the bar, Carlos watched her, captivated by the ease and joy she radiated.

“Is she always like this?” one of his friends asked.

“Not at all,” Carlos replied with a smile, his eyes never leaving Livia. “But I love seeing her this way.”

On another occasion, Livia introduced Carlos to her friends. They spent an afternoon at the beach, playing volleyball and sharing stories. The day was perfect—the sun glittering on the water and laughter filling the air. As they sat on the sand with cold drinks and a relaxed vibe, Chiara decided it was the perfect moment to "interrogate" Carlos.

“Well, Carlos, since you’re the most interesting person at the table and, clearly, the only man here, I have some important questions for you,” Chiara said, her grin wide enough to make Livia immediately suspicious.

Carlos leaned forward, amused and intrigued. “Go ahead, Chiara. I’m ready.”

Chiara shifted in her seat, as if preparing to moderate a press conference. “First: how many drivers on the grid are single? And if there are any, who would you say is the most handsome? Purely professional curiosity.”

Carlos burst into laughter as Livia covered her face with her hand, caught between embarrassment and amusement.

“Well,” Carlos began, trying not to laugh too hard, “there are a few single ones, but I’m not sure who’s looking for someone... Or should I just tell you who’s the most handsome?”

“Please!” Chiara exclaimed, raising her hands. “Let me make it easier for you. If you had to play matchmaker, who would you pair me with? I want options—and phone numbers.”

“Chiara, for the love of God…” Livia interjected, attempting to sound serious but failing to hide her smile.

Carlos took it in stride. “Alright, let’s see. I think Pierre would be thrilled. He’s fun, loves fashion, and always has a joke ready. Or maybe Lando, if you’re into younger guys with charisma.”

Chiara pretended to jot down notes in the air. “Hmm, interesting. Though I’m not sure about the ‘younger’ part.”

One afternoon, while Livia and Carlos were relaxing on a terrace overlooking the harbor, Livia glanced at her phone and noticed a message from an unknown number. A wave of unease washed over her instantly. Opening the message, its contents struck her like a blow from the past:

"So, you're in Amalfi with a driver now. Looking for another story for the public? You know how these things end."

The message was brief, but its intention was clear. It was her ex. The carefully chosen, stinging words disrupted the peace she had been building.

Carlos, sitting across from her, noticed the change in her expression.

"Everything okay?" he asked, his tone laced with concern.

"I don’t know," Livia admitted, vulnerability creeping into her tone. "He stopped bothering me a while ago, but he always knows when to reappear to..."

Livia looked up, attempting a smile, but it didn’t convince him. She hesitated for a moment before showing him the message. Carlos read it, his jaw tightening as his eyes scanned the words.

"How long has this been going on?" he asked calmly, though his voice carried an edge.

"To try to control your life," Carlos finished, his gaze sharp and protective.

Carlos set the phone down on the table and leaned closer, taking her hand firmly. "Livia, you don’t have to deal with this alone. If he bothers you again, we’ll handle it together. I’m not going to let him drag you down again."

Carlos gave her a small smile, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. "I don’t know if I always do, but I know this: I won’t let anyone hurt you. Not while I’m here."

Livia looked at him, surprised by his determination. She had expected discomfort, maybe even a suggestion to ignore the problem, but his response disarmed her.

"Thank you," she murmured, her voice trembling slightly. "I don’t know how you always know exactly what to say."

The Amalfi vacation came to an end faster than either of them would have liked. On their last afternoon together, sitting by the sea, Livia and Carlos discussed what they had started to build.

"What do we do now?" Livia asked, gazing at the horizon. The breeze gently played with her hair, and while her voice was calm, there was a note of uncertainty in it.

Carlos looked at her, his fingers idly playing with a small shell he had picked up on the beach. "I think the best thing is to keep this between us, at least for now. The press always finds a way to ruin something good."

Livia nodded, relieved that they were on the same page. "I don’t want what we have to become a spectacle. I want us to decide when, how, and if we share it with the world."

Carlos took her hand, intertwining their fingers. "Then that’s what we’ll do. Just us. At least until we’re ready."

Back in their respective lives, Livia and Carlos found ways to stay connected. Long nightly calls filled with laughter and spontaneous messages throughout the day became part of their routine. Carlos sent photos from the circuits, often with sarcastic comments about paddock gossips, while Livia shared images of her latest designs or small everyday moments she thought might make him smile.

It didn’t take long for eagle-eyed fans to start noticing coincidences in their Instagram posts. A photo of Livia enjoying gelato in Amalfi suspiciously matched another of Carlos at the same spot, posted just hours apart. A sunset on the beach, an Italian restaurant... the clues were enough for theories to start swirling.

Despite this, neither Livia nor Carlos commented publicly. When journalists tried to broach the subject during interviews, both deflected with calculated responses.

Months later, the Italian Grand Prix at Monza was a whirlwind of emotions. Ferrari secured an incredible home victory with Charles Leclerc crossing the finish line first, while Carlos finished a respectable fourth after an intense battle on track. Although he didn’t make the podium, his performance was solid, and the paddock buzzed with pride and celebration.

Livia had followed the race from a private hospitality suite, staying discreet but feeling every moment of excitement. When Carlos crossed the finish line, she couldn’t help but applaud, admiring his determination on such a demanding circuit.

That evening, Ferrari hosted a gala dinner in Milan to commemorate the triumph. Livia received an invitation through her professional circle, and while she knew attending could fuel rumors, she didn’t want to miss the opportunity to be there.

The event took place in a luxurious palace in the heart of the city. Golden lights illuminated the façade as elegantly dressed guests arrived in sleek cars.

Carlos was already there, surrounded by teammates and industry figures. He wore a flawlessly tailored Visconti dark blue suit, though his attention was clearly divided. He couldn’t stop glancing around, wondering when Livia might appear.

The sound of animated conversation filled the hall as Carlos chatted with Lando, George, and Charles. Then, the grand doors opened, and Livia entered, arm-in-arm with her father.

She wore an elegant black dress that enhanced her natural poise, her smile lighting up the room. Carlos couldn’t help but watch as she moved with that unmistakable grace he had always associated with her. But now, there was no trace of the skepticism or irritation she had once inspired in him. Instead, he found himself captivated, unable to look away.

"You’re missing something, Sainz," Lando said with a sly grin, following Carlos’s gaze. "But don’t worry, just keep staring. That’ll fix it."

Carlos rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the comments, though his focus remained on Livia as she greeted familiar faces and exchanged pleasantries with her father.

Moments later, Livia approached their group with a warm smile, her tone bright yet composed, as though she had always belonged in their circle.

"Good evening," she said graciously, greeting the group. "First of all, congratulations, Lando. McLaren has been making quite the impression lately."

"Thank you," Lando replied, beaming with pride. "We’re working hard to stay competitive."

"And Charles," she continued, turning to Leclerc. "An amazing victory today. Ferrari needed that in front of its home crowd. It was thrilling to see you on the podium."

Charles nodded in gratitude. "Thank you, Livia. Monza is always special, but winning here... it’s something else entirely."

The conversation flowed naturally as Livia spoke with a mix of knowledge and charisma that captured everyone’s attention. Carlos, though silent, couldn’t stop admiring her. There was something about the way she navigated the discussion, making everyone feel valued, that left him utterly entranced.

The evening seemed perfect until an unexpected voice shattered the harmony.

“You always knew how to be the center of attention, didn’t you, Livia?”

The sharp tone made Livia tense instantly. Slowly, she turned to find Matteo, her ex-partner, walking toward the group. With his impeccable suit and false smile, he radiated the arrogance that Livia had long learned to despise.

“Matteo,” Livia said with her characteristic poised air, straightening up immediately. “I didn’t know you were invited.”

“I’m surprised you were,” Matteo replied, his smile turning even more bitter. “Then again, you’ve always known how to sneak into places you don’t belong.”

“If I’m here, it’s because I earned it,” Livia shot back, not losing her composure. “Unlike others, I don’t need money to open doors for me.”

The pilots exchanged surprised glances. The tension was palpable, but Livia continued to project that unwavering confidence she was known for—or at least seemed to.

“Always so quick with words,” Matteo continued, stepping closer. “But behind all that charm and facade, you’re still the same insecure little girl who needs everyone’s attention to feel validated.”

Livia narrowed her eyes, her jaw tightening, but she didn’t miss a beat. “I’d rather be an ‘insecure little girl’ than someone incapable of entering a relationship without destroying the other person’s life.”

The group fell silent, processing the blow Livia had delivered. But Matteo wasn’t finished.

“Relationship? Call it what it was, Livia: a performance, and you were the star. Always so good at pretending everything was fine. And look at you now, with your new ‘friends.’ What are you doing here? Looking for another name to add to your collection? The richer, the better, right?”

Matteo’s words hit like a sledgehammer. For a moment, Livia seemed to lose her breath. Her lips parted, but no sound came out. The scars from her past with him, which she thought had healed, suddenly tore open again.

“That’s enough,” Carlos intervened, stepping forward. His tone was calm, but there was a sharpness in his voice that made Matteo sneer.

“And who are you to tell me what to do?” Matteo sneered, turning to face Carlos. “Another idiot who buys into her act?”

Lando joined Carlos, crossing his arms. “I think we all know who the real idiot is here.”

Charles added coldly, “What I don’t understand is why you’re still here. It’s clear you’re not welcome.”

“Welcome?” Matteo laughed mockingly. “How amusing. None of you know the real Livia. Always so good at pretending to be strong, but let me tell you something: no matter who she surrounds herself with, she’ll always be the same broken person.”

Matteo’s cruel words made Livia take a small step back, as though they had physically struck her.

Carlos stepped closer, his gaze fixed on Matteo. “That’s enough. If you have a problem with Livia, this is neither the time nor the place. And believe me, it’s not in your best interest to continue.”

“Oh, really? And what are you going to do about it, guard dog?” Matteo provoked, stepping toward Carlos.

Before the situation could escalate, Charles placed a hand on Carlos’s arm, holding him back. “Leave it, Carlos,” he said in a low but firm voice. “He’s not worth it.”

Matteo looked around, noticing the defiant expressions of the pilots surrounding him. Despite his arrogance, even he knew when to back down.

“This isn’t over, Livia,” he said finally, throwing her one last look before turning and walking away.

When Matteo disappeared into the crowd, Livia stood still, her eyes glassy but fixed on the ground. Carlos turned to her, his face filled with concern.

"Livia," he said softly, placing a hand on her arm.

She looked up, but the words seemed trapped in her throat. Finally, she murmured, "I need to get out of here."

Carlos nodded immediately. "Let's go."

Without letting go of her, he guided her toward the exit under the curious gaze of those present, leaving the noise of the hall behind. Once outside, the cool night air wrapped around them. Livia took a few steps forward, pulling away a little, trying to control the tears that threatened to overflow.

"Livia," Carlos said, approaching her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I didn't want this to happen... I didn’t want..."

"You have nothing to apologize for," Carlos interrupted firmly. "He was the problem, not you."

The tears finally fell, and Livia tried to cover her face, embarrassed. But Carlos wrapped her in a hug, allowing her to lean on him as her emotions overwhelmed her.

"My God, how embarrassing. Why do I always end up crying when I'm with you? You should know that this isn't usually me."

Carlos chuckled softly as he looked at Livia, wiping her tears with the handkerchief from his suit. With his hand still on her back, he leaned slightly to meet her gaze. "Are you feeling better?" he asked gently, as though fearing to push too much.

Livia weakly nodded, carefully wiping her tears. "I'm sorry for ruining the night. I didn't want to..."

"Hey," Carlos interrupted, placing a hand under her chin to make her look at him. "None of this is your fault, okay? And the night isn’t ruined. I'm here with you, and that's all that matters."

She looked at him, her eyes still shining with emotion, but now there was something else: a warmth that came from Carlos's words, from his presence. He kissed her forehead as he hugged her again, enjoying the way their bodies fit together perfectly.

"You always know what to say, don't you? Is it a natural talent, or have you practiced a lot?" Livia said with a small smile, though still a little shaky.

Carlos laughed softly, gently brushing Livia's hair. "Let’s say it’s something I save for special occasions."

Livia let out a small, more genuine laugh this time, pulling away just enough to look him in the eyes. "Thanks for not leaving me alone in there. I don’t know what I would have done without you. I should go back and thank the guys too, it was really sweet of them to stand up for me."

Carlos tilted his head, seeking her gaze. "You don’t need to thank anyone. I'm here because I want to be. And I’m not going anywhere."

Before she could respond, a familiar voice interrupted the moment.

"Wow, now this is a dramatic scene. Should I be worried?"

Livia quickly turned to find her father, watching them with a mix of humor and curiosity. He was swinging his cane in his right hand as he slowly approached them.

"Dad," Livia said, her voice still weak but with a hint of concern. "What are you doing here? You should be inside."

"And miss this?" he replied, raising an eyebrow. "I've been bored all night listening to men in suits talk about engines. At least out here, it seems like something interesting is going on."

Carlos, feeling uncomfortable but maintaining his composure, took a small step back. "Sir, I apologize if we’ve caused any worry."

Livia's father studied him closely before flashing a smile. "Worry? Not at all. Though I must say, you’ve handled this situation better than I would have. If the scene had lasted any longer, I’d have kicked that rude Matteo’s ass with my cane myself."

"Dad," Livia interrupted, clearly embarrassed.

"Relax, my love," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'm just saying I’m impressed. This guy has style. And patience. Something, if I’m honest, that’s not easy to find."

Carlos let out a small chuckle. "I do what I can."

Livia’s father turned to her and, with a tremendous physical effort, kissed the top of her head, his tone now softer. "Are you okay?"

Livia nodded, although her eyes were still shining. "Yeah. Thanks, Dad."

"Good," he said, looking back at Carlos. "Then I trust you’ll take good care of her. Because if not, you’ll have to face me. And believe me, I can be a lot worse than Matteo."

Livia let out a laugh, though still moved by the moment. "Dad, don’t scare Carlos."

"Scare him? No way," her father replied, smiling knowingly at the driver. "This guy has more guts than I thought. I think he can handle anything."

Carlos smiled, nodding in a gesture of respect. "I’ll do my best not to disappoint."

Livia’s father watched them for a moment before letting out an exaggerated sigh. "Well, I guess this is the moment where I say something wise and profound, right?"

Livia raised an eyebrow, confused. "What do you mean, Dad?"

He looked at her, then at Carlos, and gave a mischievous smile. "I mean that this gala is terribly boring, and after everything that just happened, I think we need something… more authentic."

Carlos looked at him curiously. "Something more authentic?"

"Exactly," the man said, crossing his arms. "There’s a place not far from here, a little joint I used to frequent when I was young. They make the best burgers you’ll ever taste. No foie gras or carpaccio. Just meat, cheese, and fries. What do you say? Shall we get out of here?"

Livia blinked, clearly surprised. "Are you suggesting we leave the Ferrari gala to eat burgers?"

"Exactly that," her father replied with a wide grin. "Come on, Liv. You said yourself the night’s already been pretty eventful. Why not finish it off in an even more memorable way?"

Carlos let out a laugh, impressed by the man’s spontaneity. "Sounds like a good plan, sir."

"That’s the spirit!" her father exclaimed, giving Carlos a pat on the shoulder. "See, Livia? He gets it. Plus, after everything you’ve been through tonight, I think you deserve a good burger. I’ll call the driver. Or are you driving, pretty boy?" he said, pointing at Carlos.

Livia couldn’t help but laugh at her father’s comment, and Carlos laughed along with her.

"I’ll go get the car," said the Spanish driver.

Taglist:

@smoooothoperator @leptitlu

if you want to be added to the taglist, let me now!!

[lumine-inkedfanfics]

𝓒𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓫: 𝓣𝓸 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓼

˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.���� ݁ ˖˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖

Tw: MC death. Character death. Spoilers.

Word count: 530 words.

Upload date: 4th February, 2025.

˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖

"Caleb!!"

Your voice lingers like a song, but only in my memories.

"Caleb, look! They are fighter jets! Will we also go on those one day?"

Yet now you aren't here with me to fly through the skies we once thought was unreachable.

"Caleb a little higher! I'm almost there!"

I remember those times, when I'd use my evol to make you fly and pluck those crispy and juicy apples i love....you love.

"Caleb, Caleb, Caleb"

Nightmares are the only memories of us. I wish they were the happier ones, but it's fine....if this is the only memories of you, then I'll welcome this pain with open arms.

You were like the sun, and I the sunflower always seeking your warmth. Yet now I'm a dead sunflower. Where is my sun?

Don't leave me, what am I without you? I don't want to be your moon. Please let me be your sky in which you light up the world. Always together and interdependent.

"Caleb, this is for you."

The dog tag u gave me is now a noose around my neck. Constricting and choking the life out of me.

"My dream is to leave here and live in the stars."

You didn't need to go alone to the stars. You could have taken your Caleb with you. I could have built you anything your heart desires. Don't leave me here alone. I lived only for you.

I am now but a shell of a human. The memories of you vanishing day by day. The chip eating away the last remains of you. Soon I'll join you. My pip-squeak.

Will you hate me?

For not protecting you or for breaking your hopes and coming to meet you sooner in the stars?

But it doesn't matter if it means I get to be with you. We can ride the clouds and explore universes as long as you are next to me.

"Caleb! Close your eyes."

I see images of you when I close my eyes. Wished every star to open my eyes and see you.

Now I bring not 2 but 3 bouquets of flowers to the Linkon graveyard. One for gran, one for me, and one for you pip-squeak.

I can imagine how you must have felt. Please don't play games. Come back to arms. It's enough. You got me back. I'm sorry for leaving you. PLEASE! Please don't do it to me. I'm sorry.

"Caleb make me braised chicken wings."

What once I learned for you is now a useless skill. I can't cook for you anymore? I can make anything you want! Anything you desire! I'll learn any cuisine for you. But please come back to me. Come back into my arms.

You don't have permission to leave me! How dare you leave me here all alone in this retched world.

If you didn't come, I always came to you.

This time too it won't be different. Soon, the pain of loneliness will take me to you.

As I start my plane, I smile.

Soon I'll be there. My beloved pip-squeak. Sunshine. My one and only.

News reports suggest that Colonel Caleb of the Farspace Fleet died in a plane crash.

˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖

A/n: I wanted to cry. So I wrote it. Like, comment and reblog. Love and deepspace gc on insta. Links on my Instagram. Love you all.

˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖

[00valentina-writes00]

Abby with gf who has an ed???

✞⛧ Abby Anderson with a girlfriend that has an ED ✞⛧

Tw: Mentions of ED

✞⛧ Abby notices before you even say anything. She’s observant, always watching you with those sharp, concerned eyes. At first, she doesn’t push, but she starts taking mental notes—how little you eat, how often you make excuses, the way your hands tremble when you go too long without food.

✞⛧ She’s so gentle about it. She doesn’t force you to eat or make you feel bad, but she always makes sure there’s food around. “I made extra,” she says casually, setting a plate in front of you. “Eat if you want.”

✞⛧ The first time you break down and admit you’re struggling, she just holds you. No judgment. No anger. Just strong, steady arms around you as she murmurs, “We’ll figure this out, okay? Together.”

✞⛧ She starts bringing snacks to share during patrols. “We gotta keep our energy up,” she says, handing you a protein bar. She takes a big bite of hers first, making a show of how good it is, hoping you’ll follow suit.

✞⛧ She’s so patient. Never makes you feel guilty. Never rushes your progress. Just steady, unwavering support.

✞⛧ She notices the way you stare at food sometimes, like it’s the enemy. The way you poke at it, move it around your plate, take tiny bites. It breaks her heart, but she never makes you feel ashamed.

✞⛧ When you’re feeling particularly low, she doesn’t ask you to eat—she just holds your hand, rubs her thumb over your knuckles, and reminds you she loves you no matter what.

✞⛧ She gets extra protective when she hears others making comments about food, weight, or body image. She hates that society still has a hold on people like that, even after the world ended.

✞⛧ If someone ever makes a rude comment about your eating habits, Abby sees red. “Mind your own fucking business,” she growls, stepping in front of you like a shield.

✞⛧ She takes time to learn everything she can about eating disorders. Finds old books, asks around, even talks to Yara about nutrition. Anything to understand what you’re going through.

✞⛧ She starts meal prepping with you, making it a bonding activity rather than a chore. “You don’t have to eat it if you’re not ready,” she assures you. “But let’s make something together, yeah?”

✞⛧ She makes sure your shared space is safe—no triggering conversations, no pressure, just love and understanding.

✞⛧ She learns the subtle signs of when you’re struggling—zoning out, irritability, dizziness—and steps in before things get bad. “C’mere, babe. Let’s sit for a second.”

✞⛧ She makes a habit of bringing you tea, especially when your stomach is hurting. “It’s warm,” she says, pressing the cup into your hands. “Just sip it, no pressure.”

✞⛧ If you have bad body image days, Abby will worship you. Kisses every inch of you, murmurs soft praises against your skin, makes sure you know how loved and beautiful you are.

✞⛧ When you have moments where you feel guilty about eating, she reassures you: “Food isn’t the enemy, babe. It keeps you strong. And I need you strong, okay?”

✞⛧ She’s a big spoon kind of girlfriend, always holding you close, always making sure you feel secure.

✞⛧ She starts cooking more, experimenting with different meals to find things that don’t overwhelm you. “Tell me what looks good to you,” she says, flipping through an old cookbook she found

✞⛧ If eating is too hard some days, she doesn’t push—you can just lay in her arms, and she’ll remind you that one bad day doesn’t erase all your progress.

✞⛧ She gives the best pep talks. “You’re doing so good, babe. Even on the hard days. I’m proud of you.”

✞⛧ If you’re feeling self-conscious about eating in front of others, she’ll make sure you have private meals together. “Just us, okay? No pressure.”

✞⛧ She’ll distract you during meals—talking about her day, telling you dumb jokes, playfully nudging your foot under the table—to take the stress off eating.

✞⛧ She makes sure you never feel alone in this. If you wake up in the middle of the night feeling guilty or anxious, she’s already pulling you into her chest, whispering, “I’ve got you.”

✞⛧ On days when eating feels impossible, she reminds you that small steps are still steps. “A few bites is still progress. I’m proud of you.”

✞⛧ She celebrates your victories, no matter how small. “You ate half of it? That’s amazing, babe.”

✞⛧ If you start spiraling, she grounds you—holding your face in her hands, pressing her forehead to yours, whispering, “You’re safe. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

✞⛧ She never lets you feel like a burden. “You’d do the same for me,” she reminds you when you apologize for struggling. “And I love taking care of you.”

✞⛧ If you ever relapse, she never gets mad. She just holds you close and says, “We’ll try again tomorrow, okay?”

✞⛧ She’s your biggest supporter, your protector, your safe place. And no matter what, she’ll always be right by your side.

[gascon-en-exil]

Fire Emblem Heroes and the Great Male-Presenting Nipple Hunt

Last year I put out a post criticizing the paltry state of male fanservice in Fire Emblem Heroes by contrasting it against technically-SFW artwork in a variety of explicit gay dating sims. Very little has changed since then, bar one notable exception -

Eikþyrnir, a.k.a. Deer Daddy, just won Choose Your Legends. Not only that, but he got more votes than any other character in the event. I don't go there, but I hear that this has apparently made some people over on Reddit angry in a comically hypocritical way, because at least unlike Baldr also winning this year or Gullveig doing so back in 2023 Eik already exists as a character in FEH with two playable versions and the mild suggestion of a personality. Reddit, presumably, is angry because he has the audacity to be horny while male:

Now I could find a dozen or more sexier interpretations of a deer/elk/moose man out there, because I occasionally move in furry-adjacent online kink circles, but as far as FEH is concerned this guy is water in a desert - and those of us who wish this game would even pretend to be more equal opportunity with its fanservice have been parched.

That said...the man's got no nipples.

Nipples on their own are hardly the be-all, end-all of male fanservice, as I demonstrated in that previous post. However, I find that they're a useful signifier for the way that Fire Emblem and indeed most mainstream animated media prefer to handle the subject of partial male nudity. There's no shortage of muscular, bare-chested men in this game, but as is so often the case those characters are designed not to be eroticized in the same way that virtually every female character is in one way or another, but rather to be aspirational power fantasies for straight men.

Nipples disrupt that fantasy, both visually and psychologically. They call to mind how women's nipples are usually considered obscene and thus censored, like what happened with mythic Loki last year on YouTube. More concerningly for the heteronormative male gaze, nipples are erogenous zones for some men and so connote both vulnerability as well as the knowledge that male characters can be sex objects to certain audiences. The long and short of it is that male nipples can make straight men uncomfortable and are thus often censored by way of excluding them from art where they should logically appear, anatomical accuracy be damned.

In the wake of Deer Daddy's win I set out to survey men's nipples of FEH, because I'm aware that there are at least a few of them. This took several hours of scrolling through hundreds of pieces of Heroes art, including attack and damaged poses since FEH is infamous for giving female characters strategically-placed ripped clothing in the latter. I even looked at all the available resplendent art, though that proved to be a waste of time as there's not a nipple to be found in any of those updated designs. Note that a subjective element to this was unavoidable; as straightforward as this all might sound, you'd be surprised how often it can hard to distinguish what might be a visible nipple from shading or muscle contour. By the end of scanning artwork of over 500 different units I was almost beginning to imagine nipples where none existed!

Needless to say, there will be a lot of images in this post, but as they're all guys from FEH they can only get so racy. Prepared to be disappointed.

Generally speaking, bare-chested men in FEH come in two flavors: characters who were shirtless in their original artwork, and summer alts. Those swimsuit banners are filled to the brim with conspicuously nipple-free men, though Magvel may take the cake solely on account of how many summer alts FE8 has gotten over the years.

Of that set the faint discoloration on Joshua's right pec just above the strap might be a nipple, but that's as good as it gets.

Fódlan fares marginally better here. There's the suggestion of nipples in Dedue's art as well as in Lorenz's attack pose (ignore his infamous Ken doll crotch) and Sylvain's damaged art. Neither of the house leaders have anything going on, though.

Awakening also has a few summer alts with what might be nipples.

The fact that neither Ike nor any of the male laguz have swimsuit alts after eight years and sixteen summer banners might as well be Exhibit A for how IS doesn't understand how to make use of the male fanservice fodder it's got. Ike's not likely to get one this year either, not when he just got a desert alt...but with that said there may be a bit of nipple on that alt's damaged art, just under the rip.

While we're talking possible ripped nip slips try saying that three times fast, there's a handful of others that at least approach that territory, like brave Dimitri, Jeralt, and also Hubert for some reason. Osian wins this category though, with that slightly darkened and prominent bump on his right pec that I'm going to liberally accept as a nipple.

Then there are characters who ordinarily go about bare-chested, although they're just as likely to be lacking in nipples which makes me sad. These could have been so much hornier!

Although to the artists' credits, some characters are missing nipples in their base versions only to (maybe?) gain them in alts, like Hawkeye and Linus.

Soeda Ippei is often cited as the one FEH artist that consistently delivers on male fanservice, and while he has come through with some of the best the game has to offer as we'll see at the end he's also guilty of the occasional nipple-less design. Notable among these is autumn Dorcas, who fails my criteria here but who is otherwise a much better take on a mildly horny bull guy than Askr who's just a disappointment no matter how you look at him.

Seriously, show the design on the right to anyone even passingly familiar with the work of gay furries/monsterfuckers to give them a good laugh. Why is the bull a borderline twunk?!

But anyway, since I'm reaching the image limit on this post it's time for me to hand out the top prizes for FEH's Most Prominent Male Nipples! As well as an honorable mention...

I'm not exaggerating when I say that this may be the single raciest piece of art of a male character in FEH. Hot springs Ryoma gets his towel blown off in his damaged pose, leaving him in nothing but an open loincloth. His chest might be the usual flat slab of muscle, but that's closer to flashing some dick than I'd ever have expected of this game.

But onto the nipple-based winners:

Starting with one by Ippei, Darros has at least one visibly-defined areola in all of his poses.

Mustafa has both nipples clearly visible in his attack and damaged art. I seriously have never thought twice about this guy before now and I've never seen this brought up, so his art stunned me when I saw it. Even more amazingly, this isn't an Ippei piece but rather was done by Toshiyuki Kusakihara, the art director of Awakening.

Still, the grand prize has to go to Ippei.

Fargus doesn't merely have nipples; he has chest hair, which I'm pretty sure makes him the only character in all of FEH with any visible hair below the neck (not counting tails on any of the furry shapeshifters, before someone brings those up). He also lacks the standard muscle definition and instead has what looks to be an actual gut. How did IS ever approve this?

Well...it probably helps that Fargus is an NPC from a pre-Awakening game who got released via a Grand Hero Battle so no one's spending orbs on him anyway.

That's the unfortunate reality of all these top picks. They're all minor characters, with two of them not even playable in their own games, and as far as I'm aware none of them are exactly premium units in FEH. They're low-value characters, and likely not ones most players are likely to take note of unlike the lords and similarly popular units, so they get to be horny in a way that's unconventional for this game.

I don't seriously expect Eik's CYL win to change much of anything when it comes to male fanservice; as I suggested at the top, his design relative to what it could have been is actually quite safe for any but the most insecure of straight men. I just hope that 3/4ths of the winners coming from FEH doesn't send IS the message that they can continue cranking out low-effort fanservice OCs instead of working on the next mainline game. Those may now only exist to subsidize the roster of the mobile gacha...but that would still be highly disappointing.

[jullkz]

wanted to jump on the barbie meme bandwagon

technically they could both be ken but i didnt want to draw the same pose twice

[theoryofwhatnow]

alex and nigel

what they would’ve actually looked like

[screwpinecaprice]

This is why I like to draw Connie with longer (or at least with an abundant amount of) hair, so I can do dramatic crap like these.

[solar-nightengale]

18 or 36 + lampwick?

HIIIIIIIIII!!! First off: i'm so SO sorry for how late this one is I've been ruminating on it for the while DFCDSTJBHKDCTRL BUT!!!! I'M HERE AND PRESENTING THE RESULT FOR IT!!

spotify wrapped game: send me a number from 1-100, optionally with a ship or character, for a moodboard based on the song it corresponds to!

36. Make it All Right - The Offspring

[bf-rally]

today i tried to code more

[icewindandboringhorror]

I love all of these goofy product photos where the water bottle is extremely obviously just photoshopped onto a stock image of someone pretending to hold something or whatever.. very convincing..

[chuluoyi]

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 !

- gojo satoru x reader // zen'in naoya x reader

you are an empress perfect in every way... until your husband suddenly casts you aside for his expecting mistress. but you won't be dethroned just like that, because the newly coronated western emperor, gojo satoru, sets his sights on you, and thus your revenge against your ex-husband begins...

genre/warnings: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—might be ooc, kinda slowburn, angst to eventual fluff, divorce, marriage of convenience, heavy pining (from gojo's part), childhood friends trope, mentions of infidelity, misogyny, infertility, explicit smut

note: loosely inspired by and taking some elements of manhwa remarried empress (but i promise you, it's different). my god, for the past month this is all i can think about *sobs* wc. 10.5k ! this is the longest thing i've ever posted here, and if you'd give it a chance, then i'll be really, really thankful!

credit header goes to @/gojokko in twitter!

next. the crown of diamonds | long live the empire

general masterlist | series masterlist

“I accept the divorce.”

Your perfect life was done for. Everything you had worked hard towards— it was now in shambles and tatters.

You, an ethereal, revered empress... someone untarnished in the face of public and private, had just agreed to the emperor’s blatant request of separation.

“My god... how can this be!?”

“Your Majesty! Please reconsider!”

Emperor Zen’in Naoya of the Eastern Empire, your husband—and companion for more than ten years—smirked as he looked down at you, paying zero attention to the uproar in this courthouse.

But then you heard that kind, velvety voice from the back of your head:

“If you become my empress… that will make me the happiest man alive.”

This place has turned into a whopping circus ever since you and Naoya stepped inside anyway. And so, having nothing worthy left to lose, you declared, “And I demand an immediate approval for my remarriage.”

Your boldness once again stirred a wave of clamor among the crowd, and even Naoya was glaring at you in disbelief now. “A remarriage…? How dare you—!”

“Well... is it the time for my grand entrance?”

Deep from behind the curtains, suddenly he emerged, dressed in the most lavish robes befitting his own throne, outshining everyone in the room as if he was the one owning the place.

“Heh.” His low chuckle stunned even the mass as he took big strides towards where you were.

This would seal your fate. From now onwards, you would no longer be the perfect empress. Your messy divorce and remarriage will relegate that image to history.

“My goodness, that’s…” the woman in the front gasped. “Western Empire’s…”

“Gojo… Satoru?” Naoya's eyes lit with genuine fury as the other man took his place by your side. “You couldn't possibly mean…!”

You interrupted him regally. “Yes, he is the man I wish to remarry.”

This event was going to blow up tomorrow, with scandalous titles no less than The Deposed Empress Remarries! And there was no going back, ever.

How did your pristine life turn into such a shameful debacle? None of these turn of events would be imaginable for you several years prior...

SATORU, THE CROWN PRINCE OF WESTERN EMPIRE

To Satoru, you were more than just the east’s breathtaking empress—you had captured his attention long before you ascended to that role.

Seven years ago, you were the renowned noble lady, the paragon of perfection sought after by many lords and monarchs alike.

You were both cunning and fair, pretty in the face, came from an illustrious family known for birthing famous empresses in either western and eastern empires. You were the quintessential template that mothers advised their sons to seek in a wife.

The fairest in the land—that was how people called you. And Gojo Satoru is always and only interested in the best.

“Suguru... look at her.” His eyes would soften at the sight of you as he nudged at his closest ally and confidant, the duke. “She is so... pretty, isn’t she?”

Unfortunately, you had been promised to the Eastern Empire’s crown prince from a long time ago too. There was little that the outsiders, including himself—even if he was the heir apparent to his own throne—could do to sway your heart.

“There's more to women than their faces, Satoru,” Suguru sighed, thinking that what he had was a mere lust. “Moreover, she’s engaged to the Zen’in... and they have a very good relationship. Nothing you can do about that.”

“Hmph.”

To be honest, he couldn’t fathom what you could possibly like about that murderous Zen’in spawn. He was a pompous human being, no less.

How on earth could you stand someone like that? Satoru had always wondered… especially when it was well-known to the land that you and him were on good terms despite your arranged marriage.

—and once, he thought he knew who you are…

. . .

Satoru swallowed the bitterness rising in his throat as he attended the royal wedding of you and Zen’in Naoya. Despite hating the circumstances, he had to admit it was a fairytale wedding—albeit with the wrong groom.

You were the epitome of picture book princess. In his eyes, and in the eyes of the attendees of your wedding.

Oh, and he made headlines too, that day—

“My princess, may I have this dance?”

Two hours hadn’t even passed by after you swore your vows as Naoya’s bride, and there he was, asking for your first dance, in your own wedding ball, right in front of your newly wedded husband.

Everyone bet on you turning him down and making a fool of himself, but instead, to spare his feelings, you put your delicate hand in his, and with a wide, shy smile, you said, “Yes.”

Satoru thought it was his greatest achievement then. To have made Naoya red-faced, to have made him watch as he put his hands on your waist, twirl you around— and come one breath away from your face.

“Princess, you’re…” his breath caught as he pulled you close, staring straight at your face—and suddenly he felt like life was so unfair to him as the slow melody of waltz was all he could hear.

How could you be this close... and yet so far by being somebody else’s wife?

And yet he forced the words out, with sincerity he had never showed anyone else before, even as his heart bled and shattered. “You’re so incredibly beautiful.”

Your eyes widened, sparkling with wonder, before you thanked him with the loveliest of smiles. “Thank you. You’re too kind.”

Satoru was certain... you had ruined him, because no one else would ever be able to turn his world with just a smile like you did, even as you broke his heart too into a million pieces.

. . .

Ever since that day, everyone had branded him as a prince in search of scandal—coveting the princess married to Zen’in clan.

What everyone didn’t know was that it went beyond that. His obsession of you went beyond your beauty and charms and wits. Rather, it goes a long way back.

YOU, THE CROWN PRINCESS OF EASTERN EMPIRE

As inconceivable as it was, once upon a time, you and Naoya were a truly, happy couple.

Handpicked by the late emperor to become his son’s wife, you couldn’t be more proud. With you being the next empress of the Eastern Empire, your clan once again proved itself that it was always worthy of a seat in the monarchy.

But beyond that, you were elated that it was Naoya that you ended up marrying. Your own childhood friend, who often led you around his palace by hand and filled your days with many joy and laughs.

“One day soon, when we are the emperor and the empress—” younger Naoya was always someone who had big dreams about ruling his nation. “We will create a nation in which no one can do anything as they please! We’ll establish order, and anyone who goes against it will be punished! That way, it’ll encourage fairness!”

Not knowing it yourself, you had given your heart wholly to him. You had agreed to all his dreams and visions. You devoted yourself to them all, even more so after your marriage and coronation, as he promised you an ever after.

“From now on, it’s going to be me and you, Empress.”

YOU, THE EMPRESS OF EASTERN EMPIRE

“Your role is to give an heir to the throne, Empress.”

Your title had never sounded so heavy to you before now, especially when Naoya was the one saying it.

You sighed, gathering your wits and scattered feelings before levelling your calm gaze on your husband. “I understand that, Your Majesty. But it is not something that I can do on my own.”

This year would mark the fifth year of your marriage to Naoya. You understood that the fact you still weren’t able to be with his child would raise questions from the court, but still, must you be reminded of this fact over and over?

Your husband—no, the emperor—barked a satire laugh.

“Oh, really? As I understand it, being infertile is not something I can help you with.”

That hurt. It was a searing pain, like being branded with a red-hot iron. And it felt as if he had torn through your chest with his fist alone.

“I’m not infertile.” Your eyes gleamed with pure defiance as you lifted your chin, facing him in his audience chamber.

It dawned on you that lately, one of the few ways you could speak to him was by requesting an audience as opposed to your usual midnight talks in your private chambers.

When did it start to change? Or was Naoya this kind of person right from the very beginning and you were just blinded by love back then?

"Oh? And what would you call being childless for five years then?" Naoya sneered at you from his dais, placing one hand on his jaw. "Bad luck? You must be terribly cursed with misfortune then."

You fisted your dress, summoning all your strength to hold back tears. Don't you dare cry. Not in front of him.

It wasn't as if you didn't want to carry his heir. For many women, holding their baby in their arms is a cherished dream, and when they hold a position of power like yours, it becomes not just a desire but a duty.

You tried everything—calling in the best doctors, consuming horrible potions, even consulting with the oracle. And they all said you were perfectly healthy and fine. You were at your wits end too.

The irony. You were celebrated in public for your competence, while privately, you suffered your husband's cold detachment and cruel remarks.

. . .

"Empress, where should we put the welcome gifts?"

You studied the floor plan of the banquet hall for your annual New Year's ball with a thoughtful hum before pointing at the entrance.

"Place it here. We want our guests to know that we are generous, and it's easily accessible since the parlor is the first area they reach after arriving."

You loved planning festivities. It was therapeutic in a way, and it gave you little time to think of anything else.

"Oh, and I want to have a welcome arch and flowers placed at the entrance too. This is the grandest event of the year, second only to the Emperor's birthday... we must display the grandeur that befits such an occasion."

Your head maidservant, Hanabi, placed a hand on her abdomen and nodded with a warm smile. "That's a very clever suggestion, Your Majesty! I'll ensure they arrange everything just as you wish!"

As she scurried away, you watched her with an assessing gaze. Hanabi had been with you throughout the five years of your marriage, always at your side, assisting with day-to-day matters and serving as your confidant. She was a great aide.

And you were observant by nature... so of course you noticed things.

...and if you were correct, then she was most definitely with a child.

The thing is... she is unmarried. You hesitated to jump to conclusions without evidence, yet the timing struck you as more than coincidental—it nagged at you for weeks now, suggesting a connection you hoped did not exist.

Because if they really did... then...

You didn't dare to think, because it would be more than a nightmare. But you weren't able to let this go either, so you did what was necessary.

You planted a note in Hanabi's chamber, and then you waited in the gardens, the chilly midnight air wrapping around you like a shroud.

You had done everything you could. Five years ago, you let go of everything and had decided to spend your life with your first love—Naoya.

Because you truly and devotedly love him. You give your all for him—for your life together.

"Ooh, Your Majesty~! It's so cold out here, why not in our usual—"

Hanabi's voice faltered as soon as she saw your crimson gown, feeling like the world had collapsed on her. And you rigidly turned towards her, feeling more or less the same.

And yet, what you had received from him is the greatest betrayal.

SATORU, THE EMPEROR OF THE WESTERN EMPIRE

He first realized something was clearly wrong with you during the New Year’s ball that you hosted.

Satoru had just been crowned emperor during this time, and though rulers typically sent envoys to such grand celebrations due to concurrent festivities in their own lands, it had been several months since he last saw you. He wants to see you.

A meritless action, but he wanted to, regardless.

But that day, you were a fantastic actress in this stage called banquet hall and nobody was the wiser… but he would know, because you mattered a lot to him.

"Your Majesty, you don't seem well." He approached you with a glass of champagne, affixing a friendly smile. "Is there anything amiss?"

Taken aback, you didn't expect such close proximity that you took a step back. His smile almost faltered, but he kept it up.

"Emperor Satoru—"

"Ah, none of that, no. Address me just as you usually do, hmm?"

A smile finally tugged at your lips. "How is that fair, when you address me so formally?"

Satoru chuckled. "You, my queen, deserve all the finery and grandeur there is. And I will see to it that you do."

That was his nickname for you ever since you ascended the throne. Both of your countries refer you as “empress”, but he loves addressing you as “queen” instead.

There was a shift in your expression, and he thought you looked melancholic. It bothered him, stirring a desire to erase that somber look from you. Because above anything and everything, you had to be happy and smiling.

"You're still a flirt, I see, Satoru," you remarked, throwing him a soft smile. "It won't do you good if you're seen with me most of the time, you know."

No, I’m doing this just for you. He wanted to tell you that, but he sighed instead. "You've got it wrong. When I'm in the company of the most beautiful woman in the lands, what's there to be ashamed of?"

Perhaps hearing that finally melted you a bit as you freely giggled this time, and Satoru was glad that he made you laugh even a little.

"You would think that, huh..." you fondly mumbled. And then your expression crumbled, and he could've sworn something painful flashed in your eyes—

What happened to you? He so desperately wanted to ask, but then he saw that preying gaze on both of you. Zen’in Naoya. Satoru clicked his tongue as he watched him weave through the crowd, his gaze locked ominously on both of you.

“Seems like we don’t have much time, after all,” he began, urgency sharpening his words. “But rest assured, whenever you want to talk to me, just send a little birdie my way and I shall answer.”

“Huh?” you blinked at him questioningly, totally not getting what he meant.

He winked, then took your hand and placed a kiss on it, eliciting murmurs of surprise from the crowd at his bold gesture. “And chin up, my queen. You have nothing to fear, and if it makes you feel better...”

He leaned in to whisper in your ear, “To me, a diamond is most beautiful. And you… are one that sparkles above all.”

“Naoya, unhand me this instant!”

You were tired of this shit, of Naoya always manhandling you—of him always having a total control over you.

After seeing how close you got to Satoru, Naoya practically saw red. Still, in the prying eyes of public, he remained unperturbed, but his vice-like grip on your arm was sure to leave bruise as he unkindly led you out of the ballroom.

"Naoya!" you raised your voice this time, even louder than before, uncaring even when the wandering eyes of the servants curiously followed the two of you.

You were not made an empress just to follow him. And with that conviction, you forcibly pulled your arm away from his grip right after he shut the door to the drawing room close, not even wincing at the stinging feeling.

His eyes shone with anger. “You insolent—!”

“No—” You stood your ground, and suddenly you got very irate and burst out, “How dare you, Zen’in Naoya!”

He looked at you with equal surprise and mortification, clearly unprepared for your righteous tirade.

"You have made a mockery of our marriage! You have insulted me and your own throne by carrying on with— with the help! My maid!" you screamed at his face, pure anger coursing through your veins. "How could you!?"

Naoya took in your outburst with eerie silence, a sneer slowly forming on his lips. "You get riled up over that? Have you forgotten emperors are free to take mistresses, especially when the empress isn't capable to bear any heirs?"

A burning arrow shot straight to your heart at his response but you willed yourself not to show it. "Regardless, you could've done better and not put our throne to shame by fucking a servant."

"I've told you time and time again. A woman's duty is to bear children, and since you've proven yourself beyond barren, I did you a favor."

"A favor...?"

"As soon as Hanabi births that child, you can raise him as your own," Naoya frankly stated unabashedly, as if proud with his idea. "Saves you the trouble and I get my heir, a win-win solution, no?"

Raise him as my own...? Saves the trouble? You could've sworn that throughout your entire life, you had never been so insulted before now, right in this moment.

"What I do, I always have my throne in mind. And yet you..." his eyes narrowed into unsatisfied slits. "What are you trying to achieve by whoring yourself to that rake, Gojo Satoru? Are you telling people of the ton that you're having an affair?"

His voice made you want to throw up. The realization that everything you thought you had together might have meant nothing to him at all made you feel sick.

And so, hiding your trembling hands and swallowing you unshed tears, you responded to him with a clipped tone—

"You're most despicable, Naoya. And you are a complete fool if you think even for a second that I'd want to raise your bastard!"

He seemed taken aback by your rejection, but you didn't falter. "And oh, since you want to make use of that lowly maid so much, feel free to take her back and track her down yourself, because I've sent that wench away."

With that, you turned your back on him, striding out with your head held high, even as your life crumbled into dust.

Days after your full-blown argument with Naoya, your situation only worsened. By now, even the palace servants knew you had incurred his wrath, while Hanabi had won his favor by carrying his child—possibly the heir to the throne.

The child she was carrying was no threat to your position. After all, you were the empress. A child of your blood would trample over any bastard.

However, you'd be damned if you shared a bed with him again, and Naoya made it clear that his mistress would be elevated to the rank of royal consort. Given the current trajectory—and history's tendency to repeat itself—emperors often divorced or banished their empresses in favor of their mistresses.

Bah. You could only scoff at your laughable predicament. You came from a prestigious clan and were revered, yet now you were no more than a scorned woman.

Dark thoughts consumed your mind for a time—you couldn't deny that you had considered leaving the palace for self-imposed exile or even ending your life. However, reason always prevailed.

You wouldn't give Naoya what he wanted most: your compliance. And around the time when you resolved to do that, a finely decorated envelope arrived at your study, with no signature whatsoever.

Intrigued, you opened it to find an intricate dried rose bookmark and a folded letter nestled inside.

Greetings to you, my queen. Yeah, it's me. Hope you won't be too surprised. But if you do, know that I always mean well.

Satoru. You weren't expecting this. A small smile tugged at your lips. How long had it been since you last smiled so freely?

I've heard you love reading, hence the bookmark. Fun fact: I made it myself, with Shoko's help. She is sooo bad at explaining though so if the flower is wrinkled... please blame her.

This time, you giggled. He was an emperor, for god's sake. Should someone of his station write so informally like this?

Now... I'm no oracle, but even I know that you must be having bad days. And so, let me entertain you with several tales from my kingdom. So, the other day, my good friend Suguru, the duke—you must've heard of him surely (they said he is the most handsome bachelor in the West but they must be missing an eye for saying so because clearly I'm more!)—just fired a pair of his servants because he caught them in a thirst! He is so uptight! Why can't he let two people in love be!?

Before you knew it, you found yourself chuckling at the lines upon lines of anecdotes Satoru had penned in the letter. The way he wrote, it was as if he was right here, saying all of this to you in real-time. For a while, you were completely absorbed in the world of the Western Empire he described, and all your worries and anxieties seemed to fade away.

Okay, that's it for now. This is just a teaser actually, so if you want to subscribe to more tales of my humble little country, you can always be my empress reply to this letter! :D Look out for a white cat near your windowsill during the hour of snake—he is my trained pet, and put your message in his little backpack. Don't worry, he's cute and doesn't bite!

You were so giddy by the end. His message warmed your heart so much that your eyes grew misty. In the aftermath of Naoya's betrayal, you were certain your life would be filled with much sadness to come.

Yet, your friendship with Satoru might just be the thing that would save you.

No matter how much his friends Duke Geto and Countess Shoko urged him to see reason—that you were no longer available and occupied with your duties as the empress of your own empire—Satoru couldn't help but still cast an eye your way.

You were clearly unhappy, and to him, someone as radiant as you should be happy.

And so, that was why he took his quill and started writing that letter to be sent to your place, along with a rose strapped inside.

He knew that, being the kind person you were, you would most likely respond, but still, the moment his cat arrived back with your reply, he was elated beyond measure.

Of course I knew it right away! I omitted your name because who knows who might catch your cat on the way. Anyway, I hope Mr. Cat will arrive back to you safe and sound. Firstly, thank you for your letter. I must say I'm so happy to receive it :) I haven't had best days so reading it made me smile. And secondly, of course I'll subscribe to your stories of Western Empire. I've been wanting to visit it myself but just haven't gotten the chance to... so if you will continue it, I shall be happy to read :D

If anything he wrote brought you joy, then Satoru was content. He had achieved his goal then.

And it was his own little secret that... by corresponding with you, it allowed him to savor the feeling of having you as his own, if only through words.

Mr. Cat's name is Sugu-chan after Suguru but you can call him whatever you wish. And don't worry, he is strong and can fight if necessary! And don't be too formal with me, my queen. We have known each other forever. Anyway do tell me, what is your favorite color now? Let me guess, is it still that specific shade of crimson?

You name your cat after your best friend...? And you're making it hard for me to be less formal when you always address me as queen! Hmm, I suppose so. I love burgundy. I've even had my study designed with that exact color scheme. It just gives me the confidence I need, you know.

So you still love burgundy... I'll keep that in mind ;) Frankly, any shade of crimson suits you—you're always a vision in them. Back then and especially during your coronation. I love blue, so I think we're a match? :D

Back then...? Hmm, surprisingly yes, red and blue would make a good match... Anyway, I believe you promised me unusual tales from your 'humble little country', so please indulge me!

You've forgotten it already? Around the time we first met, back when I was still known as "the cursed prince"? It holds such importance for me but sadly it seems like it was just a passing moment to you :( Oh, yeah, I haven't forgotten about it! So, this time let me tell you about the time when Earl Nanami got wasted . . .

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Amidst the turmoil of your marriage, exchanging letters with Satoru became your sole respite. His stories regarding his own empire amused you, and sometimes it got you to wonder what it was like to live there.

However, running away from your problems would never solve them. Writing to Satoru may have helped you to cope, but still, your real issue with Naoya wouldn't vanish simply just by ignoring him.

. . .

"Your Majesty..."

For a good one minute, you stood still. Your lady-in-waiting had delivered an earth-shattering news—but admittedly, a possibility you thought was in the cards the moment you went against Naoya.

"His majesty has summoned the high priest to his study," the elderly woman added, close to tears. "But it is very likely that he has submitted the petition for—" her voice faltered when she caught sight of the emptiness in your eyes, unable to continue.

A divorce. Naoya had been considering a divorce. And by now, he was set on it.

"I'm so, so sorry..." she choked out, her voice breaking with sorrow to mourn you, but you remained expressionless, lost in your thoughts.

The last time an empress of Eastern Empire was divorced was more or less a century ago, because she had committed a grave treachery against a royal consort by poisoning her. She was sentenced to death by hanging afterwards.

The irony. You were in similar situation, only that you weren't vengeful enough to resort to poisoning Hanabi. Speaking of her, her baby was due in another four months, and now she was living happily in Naoya's quarters.

"Don't be. I'm perfectly fine."

To consolidate his illegitimate child's position, Naoya used the most effective way. Since you wouldn't listen to him, and Hanabi must be a far delightful companion rather than you, he was more than willing to cast you aside in favor of making her his empress instead.

You thought it would hurt more, and yet what you felt the most right in this moment was white-hot anger. This is unacceptable. It was the greatest insult to you both as a woman and as the empress.

Now, all you could think of was how to uphold your dignity and plot your exit from this palace with your head still held high.

If I can't be the empress here...

And after a sleepless night, you came to a daring solution. And your plan—

...I'll be one somewhere else.

It was an invitation, Satoru thought, almost in disbelief. Or it sounded a lot like one, didn't it?

Heart beating a little faster and blushing, he reread the latest letter you had sent him.

It's only the beginning of summer, and the heat is sweltering... I'm considering treating myself to a trip to the winery village on the border between the east and west. I think it'll be nice if I have a companion...

Winery village was right in the middle of the western and eastern empires, and it was a safe zone. Vineyards were vast and thick, but it wasn't exactly a popular vacation spot. So, it intrigued him why you would want to go there.

Just as he was about to reply to you that it was a very good coincidence that he too wanted to pay a visit to the said village, suddenly—

"Gojo! Gojoooo!" Shoko suddenly burst into his study, startling him.

"Shoko! What the heck?!"

Lady Shoko might be a countess, but she, Satoru, and Suguru all attended the same royal academy. Despite their prestigious titles now, Satoru insisted that in private, both Suguru and Shoko address him just as they did before he ascended the throne.

Still, she was ruder than Suguru in many ways. Satoru gave her a stink eye, but his confusion grew as she seemed to be delivering momentous news.

"Gojo, have you heard that Naoya will divorce Y/N?!"

"Wha?" it felt like a ton of bricks suddenly fell down on his head. And then his friend proceeded to tell him everything she knew.

"It wasn't made official yet, but even the townsfolk have been talking about it. They also said that Naoya have taken a mistress, and that she was formerly the empress' maid."

Satoru listened to her in silence, but the moment he heard that the Zen'in spawn planned to divorce you, anger flared within him. And to add insult to injury, he two-timed you with a servant?

The fucking bastard. He never deserved you at all. How crushed must you have been, enduring all this shit?

"Now, I wouldn't normally encourage you this," Shoko took out the cigarette she stashed in the folds of her dress and sighed. "But since you never let go of that weird fixation on her, should the royal divorce happen..." she shrugged as she took a seat in front of him.

"No matter how laughable it is, you might have a chance."

She is so right. These long years of longing for your affections and dreaming of having even a minute more of your time... there was now chance to turn it to reality.

When you arrived at the winery village for your vacation to breathe in some fresh air, honestly, everything was still in shambles.

You couldn't forget the horrified looks from the court when Naoya announced the divorce. Most were shocked and pleaded with him to reconsider. Some from your circle of ladies even sobbed, openly stating that you didn't deserve this fate.

“Empress... His Majesty shouldn't be that harsh...” Hanabi had said to you afterwards, seemingly concerned for you. “Your legacy here… I’ll make sure to carry them on.”

Sometimes you didn’t know whether Hanabi was pretending to be dumb or indeed she was. One thing you knew though...

“I wish you luck on that, Hanabi.” You looked down at her with eyes as cold as ice. “Beware, the Emperor is fickle, be sure to not run out of entertainments.”

You knew you deserved a better fate than being the empress of the Eastern Empire, but seeing those who still cared for you made you solemn. Your loyal maids, those who supported you... and what about organizations you've spent time and energy to?

“My queen, ah, there you are.”

Satoru's voice from behind startled you, interrupting your daydreams. He quickly came beside you and extended his hand, asking for yours.

You offered him your right hand, and he promptly pressed a kiss on it, his bright blue eyes gazing up at you.

It wasn't as if you just noticed how pretty his eyes were, but now that there was no ballroom and scrutinizing eyes around you, you couldn't deny that the way his eyes sparkled as he gazed at you—solely and purely on you—made you breathless.

What... would it be like to have this man... to be your husband instead?

"I missed you. I know we talk daily through letters, but seeing your beauty firsthand is always a sight for sore eyes," he cheekily commented as he let go of your hand. "Now, I get to see you without your pesky husband around, and yeah, you never fail to make my silly heart race."

You chuckled. "You always flatter me..."

He only gave you a toothy smile, and you two strolled the vineyard. For a while, you talked about nothing of importance, like where your ladies-in-waiting were, how things were from his side.

"How do you find being the emperor?"

"It's tiring! It's boring too to look through accounts and oversee those trivial state affairs! And not to mention how many people have been nagging me to take a wife soon!"

"Oh? You haven't been on the lookout already?"

"Nah. No one is good enough, I need someone already familiar with state affairs and such," he said, wrinkling his nose sourly at the thought. But then he cast his eyes on you.

"And frankly, you are my standard," he fixed you a meaningful smile. "No one comes close. If you weren't betrothed to the Zen'in back then, I'd have proposed you in a heartbeat."

Thump. Thump. Thump. Your dead heart suddenly came to life. Gojo Satoru had just confessed his affections for you so candidly, and it got you thinking how much easier your life would be with him. He would love you, take care of you...

And beguile you.

His eyes fondly crinkled at you. "You are everything I desire in a woman to be my wife."

He adores you so easily, so fluidly... and yet, Naoya, who has you fully, is throwing you away.

Satoru observed how your face fell once again, just as it had during the New Year's ball. And now he knew, it was because you were facing your impending divorce.

But he wasn't going to tell you that, instead, he would willingly be your confidant and offer you his very being. He was about to crack a joke to lift your spirits, when you blurted—

"What if I said... I want to be your empress?" you kept your pace, not looking at him at all. "What if I said... I'll leave everything and come to you?"

Huh? What…?

That was loaded. Have you entertained the thought too? Satoru had craved the very idea for so long he didn’t even miss a beat—

“Then I’d marry you.” His voice was straight and true, shooting straight to the most tender part of you that Naoya had torn to shreds. “If you become my empress… that will make me the happiest man alive.”

No hesitation. It almost reduced you to tears. You stopped where you stood, willing yourself not to tremble. There is still one person who sees this much value in you.

“Then I’ll be yours,” you breathed out. “I’ll be your empress, Satoru.”

Satoru could've sworn time had stopped. If one moment ago, you looked like you were about to shatter, now you were a vision of the dignified and perfect queen he had always known you were.

“I’ll be your queen— your everything.” You declared, locking eyes with him, the intensity of your gaze not escaping him.

How many years had he dreamed of this moment? How many long nights had he endured, yearning for you, knowing you were beyond his reach?

Finally, finally... Satoru grinned, swearing to all the divine beings out there that he had never known how liberating it was to finally have what he wanted. “That would be my greatest honor.”

He drew you close—you let him—and after one second of taking in your enchanting eyes, he crashed his lips against yours.

His lips started soft and gentle, then became fiery as his tongue met yours. He pulled you closer, one arm around your waist and the other holding the back of your head. You responded eagerly, pressing against him, fingers tracing his neck and feeling the lines of his undercut.

One is finally having the woman he had wanted for so long, and the other was plotting her escape from her misery.

You were using him. He knew it. Yet, he didn't care. Hidden behind bushes and vines, you shared your very first heated kiss, aware that this moment would leave its mark as both the greatest stain and triumph in your lives.

And when he finally pulled away, lips swollen and wet, with a wolfish grin, he promised you once again—

“Give me everything that is yours... and I swear on my life, I will do everything to turn your life into a living dream.”

“Empress, your husband His Majesty the Emperor, has requested a divorce.”

It was how your once pristine life transformed into the scandal of the century inside the courthouse.

"If you accept this petition, then you will no longer be the Empress of Eastern Empire. You will lose all the rights you have as a senior member of the imperial family..."

You donned your finest attire—the intricate crimson and black dress you had designed and commissioned the dressmaker to create. Today, faced with Naoya's divorce decree, it would be the last time you adorned the colors of his empire.

"The ties that bound you together as husband and wife would be severed—"

Good riddance, you thought.

"If this is not what you want, you have the right to—"

"I accept the divorce."

Your voice cut through the heavy solemness of the witnesses and turned them into a mass of disbelief. You disregarded Naoya's smirk and held the priest's gaze. "And I demand an immediate approval for my remarriage."

The crowd was in for a second wave of uproar when you boldly stood your ground, and they erupted into clamors once again when Satoru made his grand entrance and took his place beside you.

"You—!" Naoya was so furious that he roared. "This is my empire!"

"And?" Satoru challenged with a dauntless smile. "I'm here to propose, and since she accepts your divorce request, I believe she has no relations with you any longer and is free to marry someone else."

You remained motionless, until your cold fingers met warmth when Satoru linked his hand with yours reassuringly.

"This is treachery! I won't fucking permit it!" Naoya hollered as he faced the high priest, who had a grim face while observing this three-way headlock between the three of you.

"Emperor Naoya, that matter falls into the jurisdiction of the church." The high priest let out a sigh and then turned to you, assessing your calm gaze.

Regardless, Naoya paid him no mind. "I refuse to grant you any permission to remarry! You will be banished to the cold palace until the rest of your pitiful days! Not only do you fail miserably by being barren beyond help, you also dare to whore yourself—" he was now rambling curses at you before everyone in the court, and it pierced you deeply—

Until Satoru tugged you behind him, so that you wouldn't have to see his face any longer.

"High priest!" Satoru's voice blared as he clenched his jaw, irate at the string of profanities directed at you. "Do you still truly believe that the deposed empress can't remarry? When she has suffered through this man's downright betrayal?"

Your head was spinning. You wanted this whole ordeal to be over already.

And thankfully, even the high priest saw reason, that you were undeserving of this debacle. In the end, his words held more weight than anyone else's, even Naoya's.

"I accept Empress Y/N petition to marry Emperor Satoru!"

In the chaos of the courthouse after the high priest granted your wish, Naoya shook his head in disbelief, looking at both of you with intense disdain.

"You've always wanted that wench, haven't you, Gojo?" Naoya cackled with a malice you would never have expected from someone who had been your husband for ten years.

You had tuned out all the noise. This dumpster fire was too much even for you. But then, you felt a strong arm enveloping you, sealing your fate as the match made in this courtroom—

"I have, yeah," Satoru replied with a smug grin. "And now that she is mine... it's just the beginning of your downfall, Zen'in."

Your wedding banquet in Western Empire lasted a week long.

True to his promise, Satoru spared no effort to make you happy. The moment he brought you to his palace, he ordered immediate plans for wedding celebrations. Make it grand, make it unforgettable... he took charge himself.

And on the final, seventh day, as you were about to be formally crowned as the empress of the western lands, you were stunned.

"This is your coronation dress, Empress," your new lady-in-waiting, Shoko, said with pride. "Gojo— I mean, His Majesty, specifically has his late mother's dress altered to suit you."

You promised yourself that you would no longer wear any shades of crimson. As much as you loved the color, it reminded you too much of your homeland and Naoya. No matter how much you despised him now, once upon a time, he was everything you loved and more.

And you thought you couldn't possibly love another color until you saw the extravagant navy dress in your chamber. Made of luxurious satin and adorned with literal diamonds, it shimmered under the light and flowed gracefully with layers of brocade cascading to the floor.

To give you something so valuable... You had expected to enter into a marriage out of necessity, but your new husband had no intention of ceasing his ways to win your heart.

If it's with him, maybe... just maybe...

Today is the day.

Satoru sat on his throne before his court in the grand hall of his audience chamber. His hair was pulled back, and he was dressed in his official attire, robe of silk and a crown made of pure gold.

Next to him, another resplendent crown adorned with jewels and diamonds shimmered in the light—the empress' crown. Your crown.

Today was the day this empire would truly acknowledge his queen. He stole a glance at you on his other side, and his breath was taken away.

With your hair tucked into an elegant updo, you were the very vision of a fairytale queen. You were incredibly stunning, almost otherworldly— shade of blue suited you as much as crimson did, just as he thought.

This day would go down in history. But before that, he would ensure that the news would reach Zen'in Naoya. He would spite him so hard.

"Today marks a momentous occasion. We gather here to celebrate not only my marriage and my new wife's coronation," Satoru glanced at his audience with a smirk, his expression widening as he spotted his best friends Suguru and Shoko. "But also the start of her reign... and as we know it already, her fame and beauty are second to none."

The crowd burst into giggles, clearly aware of his scandal at the Eastern Empire's courthouse. And even you smiled.

Satoru shrugged, playfully rolling his eyes. "Spare me, I'm a newlywed, after all. Anyway..." His gaze shifted to the intricate crown, a relic of his late mother's, and then back to you. "Come."

You knelt before your new husband, bowing your head. The whirlwind journey from the East, your remarriage to Satoru... It had all felt surreal until this moment. Now, the weight of reality settled upon you, almost shaking your very core—

But just as the thought crossed your mind, Satoru placed the crown upon your head. As the jewels settled into place and you rose to face the crowd, his voice cut through the air:

"And here I present to you, your new empress!"

The room erupted in applause, the cheers echoing around you. Everyone congratulated you without fail, and your breath was taken away.

It was a sight beyond belief, as they chanted your name, over and over again—

“ALL HAIL THE EMPRESS!”

"I have something for you!"

You wouldn't expect that you would ditch your last night of wedding celebrations along with your husband, and yet here you were, led by the hand by a very giddy Satoru.

"Where are we going?" you questioned him, your pretty dress sweeping the halls in a rush.

He turned to you to send you a wink. "Trust me, sweetheart. You'll love it."

Somehow the way he called you made your heart thump a little faster inside your ribcage. This man is really, truly, your husband now.

He was such a refreshing person, it almost made you let go of everything that molded you into the perfect empress in the east, and be just... you.

"Here." Both of you stopped in front of a grand door, and he ushered you inside. "Come, come~"

A study, you realized as you stepped inside, but then a gasp left your lips—

"How do you find it, hmm?" Satoru put an arm around your waist, proud of how the burgundy walls and mats enveloped the entire space, creating a tranquil sight that perfectly matched your taste.

It was so much like your private study in the Eastern Empire's palace. You might now hate that place, but your private study was filled with the memories of smiles while writing back to Satoru's letters and waiting for his cat to come. And to have this now in your new home...

"You remembered..." you looked up to him, almost tearing up.

"Of course I do," he pressed a kiss on your temple. "I said that so long as you're with me, I'll turn your dream into reality, didn't I?"

This man really treasures you, or at least that was what his actions had proven so far.

"You're everything I've ever wanted and more," Satoru said, wrapping his arms around you from behind in a warm embrace. "You might not realize it, but I've been in love with you since you first visited western lands."

"What?" you turned to him with genuine confusion. "How?"

"That blind boy who you led by the hand... he had no friends," Satoru sighed against you. "The first and only person who asked him if he was lost... is you."

Suddenly, you were thrown back in time to your first encounter with Satoru many years ago. He was known as "cursed" for being born with peculiar eyes, had been blind for a period of his childhood, before he awakened the true extent of those brilliant blue eyes and brought his clan to power by wielding them.

Back then, you thought it was wrong for him to be left alone, so you took him by the hand and escorted him back to the palace, unaware that he was the infamously cursed crown prince.

"You made me feel less lonely. And I thought then... someday, somehow... through some sort of miracle in which I regained my eyesight and could see you... I'd immediately ask for your hand."

But you were named the crown princess of the Eastern Empire. The thought of how crushed Satoru must have felt upon hearing the news pricked at your heart.

You felt soft, you felt loved, and most of all, you felt an overwhelming certainty that with this man by your side, you would finally experience the genuine love that had been missing from your life for so long.

"You have me now," you whispered in response.

Unlike your first kiss in the winery village, this time, you were the one who faced him and pulled him into a searing kiss.

Be it impulse, overwhelming feelings or something else... you didn't care. You just want him.

And wouldn't you know, your new husband... is also a wonderful, dashing lover.

"You're so... fucking beautiful..." Satoru's lips were on yours, claiming them with a fierce passion that left you breathless. His hands roamed your body, tracing each curves and lines.

You moaned into his mouth, clutching his robes. He captured your wrists with one hand, using the other to tilt your head back so he could leave bruises on your neck in the process, making you moan.

"Keep making that sound, yeah?" Satoru rasped, his hot breath giving you goosebumps. "Keep me going with your voice."

As he gripped your waist, it dawned to him once again that you were here, with him.

Seeing his colors on you ignited desire straight to his cock. His empress was stunning, more so now than ever, more than any woman Satoru had ever seen.

He led you to the bed, his movements urgent yet tender. The air was thick with desire as you lay back, pulling him down with you. You arched your back, pressing yourself closer to him, craving more.

This wasn't your first time, yet you had never been this excited before. From heated kisses until somehow managing to get rid of your underwear and left you in your dress... your body nearly thrashed in response.

"Look at you... An queen of two empires, yet rendered putty in my hands," Satoru wickedly grinned as he slipped a hand under your dress, rubbing his thumb teasingly over your clit. You let out a soft sigh at the prodding. You were getting wetter by each second... and Satoru felt his cock straining against the tight material of his dress pants.

"More..." you pleaded, arching your hips. "More...!"

Any of your wishes would be his command, so he pushed two fingers inside you at once, and you let out an erotic gasp. Satoru was so close to tearing his pants off by seeing how tight you clenched around his digits.

Breathy moans fell from your lips with each harsh brush of his thumb over your clit, his fingers fucking you fast—

"Satoru...!" you shuddered, gripping his shoulders as you became limp and came into his hands in spurts.

"My queen..." he then captured your lips in a brash kiss, and you reciprocated it. He pulled away only to press his forehead against yours in an attempt to calm his raging heart. "No matter what."

His watery, sparkling eyes was mesmerizing to you, and you took one breath before you crashed your lips into his, tangling your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer.

"As pretty as you look in this, I'm going to take it off," Satoru murmured with a meaningful smirk, slowly undoing the laces of your dress. "I want to see you completely naked... just for me."

Soon, you laid bare, and the cold air made your body shiver. Satoru clenched his jaw tightly at the scrumptious sight.

It was almost difficult for him to take in all of you at once—your flushed cheeks, swollen lips, erect nipples, and legs spread wantonly for him. Satoru had been here so many times in his dreams, and to see it becoming reality...

"If back then, you had chosen me instead—" he sounded almost heartbroken, which startled you. "I would have treated you right from the start—"

You looked up to him. "You would..."

"Don't you know how many years... I've been just there— watching you and that bastard? Knowing I can do even more than him?"

"Mhm..."

You rose, tugging him closer, before you unclasped his robe, letting it fall to the floor. "Satoru... right now... I'm yours."

He allowed you to undress him and soon he too was out of his stuffy royal attire. Your eyes wandered on each part of his body you touched. His chiseled body, snow-like skin, and then the hardened bulge that sprung out the moment you undid his pants—

The sight of his cock alone only turned you on even more. You gently gripped the glistening head, running a thumb over the tip before gliding your hand towards the base of his length. With a gentle rhythm, your hand moved from base to tip in a slow, teasing motion... before pecking his head.

"Yeah... you're right." His eyes never left yours, admiring you as if you were the most precious gemstone, before catching you off guard. While you rubbed him, he snaked a hand around your waist, pulling you so that you tumbled on top of him.

You moaned loudly as his cock—big, both in length and width—entered you, his hands gripping your thighs to spread them apart so he can shove himself deeper.

You felt so, so full, as you pulled Satoru to you tightly, groaning into his shoulder. And he started to set the pace, moving against you.

"Ahh," you moaned out shakily, fingers clawing into his back. To him, the sounds you made drew him in like a siren's song, it made him throb inside you. "Ahh—hngh!"

"Feel good?" he asked, voice sultry and deep, as he thrusted into you particularly harder, causing you to stifle a moan. "Let it out—hah—sweetheart... I want to hear you, hmm?"

And you did. You felt hot. Your unabashed, nasty sounds with each thrust drove him to the edge. With every lift of your hips, you squeezed him so tightly it almost made his head spin. His breaths came in short pants too.

"You fit me so damn well," he groaned, holding your hips hard enough to leave imprints of his fingers. "So fine..."

One woman. It took just one woman—you—to unravel him like this.

"Satoru, harder—" You commanded, wrapping your arms around his neck even as you trembled. "N-not enough... harder!"

He actually had to swallow, because you and your pussy felt so damn tantalizing. "As you wish, Your Majesty."

He slammed his hips against yours twice—no, thrice the previous speed, and you incoherently squealed. The squelching sound of your hips slamming against each other, and the immense wetness coming out where you two were joined... it was clear: you were addicted.

"Did Naoya ever make you feel as good as I do you now?" he drawled, sinking into you impossibly deeper, squeezing your left mound and flicking your right nipple at the same time. "Did he... ever make you ride him like this?" And then he instantly regretted his words.

Because the moment he said that, you felt cold, reminded of nights in which Zen'in Naoya grabbed you just to forcefully breed you. You winced, and Satoru caught it.

"I..." you shifted your gaze away from him, and he could've sworn that it was sorrow he saw flashing in your pretty eyes. "I-I... don't want to talk about him..."

Feeling remorseful, Satoru reached for the back of your neck and pulled you to him, kissing your lips softly. "I'm sorry—"

"You don't have to—"

"Tonight, I'll make you scream my name so hard you'll forget him," he promised as he pulled away from you, his eyes darkening. "Tonight, give me everything and I'll show you how a man truly loves his woman."

And he followed through. He worshipped you meticulously, treating your body with the reverence one might bestow upon delicate glass. He peppered kisses on every inch of your skin he could reach, lips and tongue trailing down, his relentless thrusts so well-paced and brutal at the same time.

"I'm— close!" You whimpered, and yet still grinding your hips against him. He was watching your every move, every wave of pleasure that was evident on your face— committing it to memory for those moments when he couldn't hold you close.

You gasped—as a mind-blowing orgasm then ripped out of your very being, your hips faltering as you surrendered to ecstasy with a cry of his name, coming all over him. "Satoru... Satoru! Ahhh!"

And Satoru kept his gaze on your face as he too busted inside of you hard, feeling himself filling your womb with his essence, his hands kept your waist steady, memorizing the way your lips part and the way your body went limp into him with satisfaction.

Dear heavens, I love you. The sight of you was nothing but perfection, and with everything he had, he was very sincere when he said—

"You're flawless, sweetheart."

2 MONTHS LATER

"If you give me a son, I'll throne you as the empress right on that very day."

The Eastern Empire's palace was bustling as the royal consort's screams echoed through the halls. The day Naoya had been eagerly awaiting had arrived—his mistress was delivering his heir.

Yet unbeknownst to him, whispers in the dark suggested the royal baby was arriving suspiciously early. Many, still mourning the previous empress who had been dethroned so abruptly, were not exactly thrilled with this turn of events.

"My lady, just a little bit more!" the maid encouraged. Hanabi strained once again as the pain peaked and her body spasmed, letting out the loudest wail as the baby finally slid out of her.

"W-what... is it?" on the brink of passing out, Hanabi asked anyone who might hear her. She had to know, for she was so close to obtaining her throne—

"It's a girl, my lady!" the midwife announced.

What?

Her world crumbled at that very moment. A girl? A girl can't be the heir!

She wanted to sob, to utterly mourn, and right at this moment she was full of fear, because if Naoya knew—!

Like a curse, he suddenly made his presence known in the birthing chamber. His face scrunched in distaste at the scent of blood filling the air. He took one look at Hanabi, tearful and frazzled after the ordeal, then turned to the midwife, who was trembling at his presence.

"A baby girl, Your Majesty."

In that instant, fury flashed through him. He shot everyone in the room a glare before his eyes settled on his consort, full of spite.

"You useless tramp."

Your life with Satoru in Western Empire was wonderful.

He was everything Naoya was not. Satoru adored you, prioritized your well-being and happiness, often humored you, and made your days an endless delight.

And dare you say... you had begun to return his affections as well.

How could you not? Everything he did, he did with you in mind. He eased you into your position so seamlessly, and soon you found your place comfortably at court.

"He is mixing pleasure with his kingly duties," Suguru grumbled, watching his best friend order the gardeners to plant more blue roses simply because you mentioned finding them beautiful earlier. "Empress, you have to keep a tight grip on his leash."

"Well, at least he's happy." Shoko shrugged and nudged you. "Can't you see by now? How much of a loser he is for you?"

You did see him—a man who showed you everything he had. He had given you everything you unknowingly needed.

And you just wished... you could return the same for him. It still made you bitter, knowing you might never be able to give him heirs due to your condition.

. . .

"Sweetheart... what's on your mind, hmm?"

You looked up to him as he pressed a kiss on your cheek, an arm securely around you, sweaty and panting after your steamy session.

With his hair down and messy after you yanked him earlier, your lips curved into a genuine smile. "You look hot like this, you know?"

He clicked his tongue. "Hmm, I am, of course. But no use in changing topics, I know you well enough now."

Your bare body was pressed against his chest, fingertips tracing gentle lines on his skin.

"There's a possibility that... I can't give you any children." You almost felt ashamed saying this to him, unable to look at him in the eye. "I-I... I've failed for many years—"

"Hush," he silenced you with a finger to your lips, his expression firm. "No thinking that, yeah? I don't care."

"But—"

"Children are gifts," he said then, caressing your face tenderly. "It's not up to us to control how it'll take or not. And I married you not because I want heirs or such—I love you, you know?"

Your glassy eyes met his, and you willed yourself not to shed a tear.

He grinned cheekily. "Besides, you've felt it yourself—my sexual potency is undeniable. And I don't believe for a second, that you're what that bastard claimed you to be. I bet he's the one who is impotent—"

"Satoru! You're so obscene—!" you giggled freely and poked his chest.

At that time, you were just relieved that he didn't mind. Though it was still weighing in your mind on some days, you felt a newfound sense of liberation compared to when you were still in the Eastern Empire.

But you were in for another plot twist. Perhaps Satoru is correct, and your doubts are unfounded...

"Ugh..."

Your stomach churned in discomfort, a sickening nausea that seemed to twist your insides and threaten to force its way up. This had happened for days now.

You wanted to find a physician before Satoru was aware of your state. You didn't dare to hope or speculate, because you were tired of it by this point. You just wanted clarity.

Yet, the physician's words left you speechless.

"Your Majesty... it seems that you are with child," he remarked in wonder as he assessed your vein. "Yes, definitely. You are with child."

It was a revelation you hadn't expected. For years, you had been convinced that you were unable to conceive, but now...

You were carrying a new life. Yours and Satoru's.

You felt like bursting with joy as you made your way to his study. Your heart swelled with an overwhelming sense of happiness. Above anything else, you were eager to share this news with him—

...until everything you had known turned on its axis once again.

Right before you went past the ajar door, you saw a glimpse of your husband and his most trusted confidant, overhearing snippets of their conversation:

"Satoru, however you look at it, this is tantamount to declaring war," Suguru sighed, clearly at odds with his perspective. "It's not wise."

"We can finally put an end to them this way," Satoru's tone was steely as he moved a chess piece across the map, positioning it on the border between east and west. "No better time than now."

"The Empress will face the greatest backlash from this. They'll accuse her of being vengeful enough to provoke an attack on her home country—"

"On the contrary, her presence will encourage those still loyal to her to defect. That's why I have her here. We need defectors—"

You let out a choked gasp, backing away from the door in shock. For one good minute, you refused to comprehend what Satoru was implying.

. . .

. . .

Did your new husband... marry you for his own hidden agenda?